五个科学方法让你更快走出失恋痛苦

五个科学方法让你更快走出失恋痛苦

刚刚失恋的时候，你会觉得，你一辈子也摆脱不了这段感情带来的伤害，但是可能33天后，你的伤口就愈合了，谁知道呢？人们总是低估自己的自愈能力。科学家表示，如果你遵从本文的五个科学方法，这个过程还可以进一步缩短。有没有兴趣了解一下？

The only way to truly get over a breakup is to give it time.

真正走出失恋痛苦的唯一办法就是给它时间。

As biological anthropologist Helen Fisher previously told Business Insider, "The day will come when that person who's been camping in your head is out. And you wake up in the morning and you realise that yesterday you never thought about them at all."

正如生物人类学家海伦•费雪曾对商业内幕网说过的：“总有一天，那个盘踞在你脑海里的人会消失。当你在清晨醒来，你会意识到自己昨天一次都没有想起那个人。”

In fact, research suggests that we tend to overestimate how long it will take us to feel better after a breakup.

事实上，研究表明，我们通常会把自己走出失恋痛苦的时间估计得过长。

That said, if you've just landed in Splitsville, there are plenty of ways to speed up the recovery process - so you can show up to work as a functioning human being, and not a sobbing mess.

尽管如此，如果你刚刚分手，有很多方法都可以加速心情的恢复，以便你能正常工作，不再

哭哭啼啼。

以下就是专家推荐的应对失恋痛苦的五个科学方法。

1. Don't Facebook-stalk your ex

不要在社交媒体上偷偷关注你的前任

A study published 2012 in the journal Cyberpsychology found that people who creep on their exes' Facebook profiles are more likely to have negative feelings for the person, more likely to desire that person, and less likely to grow from the breakup.

2012年发表在《网络心理学》期刊上的一项研究发现，偷偷关注前任Facebook状态的人更可能对前任怀有消极情绪，更容易对前任产生欲望，更难从分手中走出来。

It's hard to say whether looking at an ex's Facebook profile directly causes distress, or whether it's the other way around. Either way, do yourself a favour and try to resist the urge to "just check" what your ex has been up to since the breakup.

关注前任的Facebook状态是否会直接带来痛苦还是缓解痛苦，这很难说。无论是哪种情况，为了自己，请努力克制住“看一眼”前任分手后状态的欲望。

2. List five 'must-haves' and five 'can't-stands' in a potential partner

列出潜在伴侣“必须具备”的五个特质和“让你受不了”的五个特质。

That's a tip from Andrea Syrtash, dating expert and author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It."

这是约会专家安德莉亚•西尔塔什给出的建议。西尔塔什是《他不是你的菜（这是好事）：如何在最不可能的地方找到真爱》的作者。

Syrtash previously told Business Insider she recommends going deeper with each value - so instead of "must have brown hair and brown eyes," try "I must be attracted to this person."

西尔塔什先前告诉商业内幕网说，她建议更深入地挖掘每一种价值，不要写“必须有棕色头发和棕色眼睛”，试着写“我一定要被这个人吸引”之类的话。

One benefit of this exercise is that you might realise while you want someone who's emotionally open, for example, none of your exes have been. From there, you can start to look for a partner who's more suitable for you.

这种练习的好处之一是你可能会意识到一些事实，比如尽管你想要一个开朗的对象，但是你的前任全都不是这样的人。从此以后，你可以开始寻找一个更适合你的对象。

3. Try not to assume the breakup reflects something wrong with you

不要认为分手反映出你的某种缺陷。

A 2016 paper in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that your ability to deal with a breakup has a lot to do with your sense of self. 2016年发表在《个性与社会心理学通报》期刊上的一篇论文指出，你应对分手的能力和你对自我的感知有很大关系。

One of the study authors, Lauren Howe, broke it down in The Atlantic:

该研究的作者之一劳伦•霍伊在《大西洋月刊》上分析道：

"In our research, people reported the most prolonged distress after a romantic rejection when it caused their self-image to change for the worse. People who agreed that the rejection made them question who they really were also reported more often that they were still upset when they thought about the person who had rejected them."

“在我们的研究中，人们报告称，如果被甩导致自我形象崩塌，分手后的痛苦期是最长的。那些认同被甩会导致自我怀疑的人当中，更多人报告称，当他们想起那个甩掉自己的人，他们依然会感到痛苦。”

On the other hand, Howe wrote, people who responded with remarks such as, "I learned that two people can both be quality individuals, but that doesn't mean they belong together" tended to have an easier time with the breakup.

与此同时，霍伊写道，说出下面的话的受访者通常能更好地应对分手：“我明白了即使两个人都是优秀的人，也不意味着他们就应该在一起。”