小组笔译例句

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一,中式翻译
• 1,这种罗曼蒂克的回忆其实并不是发现了儿时的真正了 不得,而是感觉到中年以后的衰退。
• The memory so romantic is not because people found that their childhood extraordinary, but their declining year approaching.
rattling like a musical instrument playing an accompaniment – 其中rattling表达“振动”,而不用vibrating等,rattle 不仅指“振动”,而且指格格作响声,与“伴奏乐器” 的比喻相呼应并且很具有听觉上的效果。而vibrating仅 仅只能表示震动,不能表现出盖子因为热气而上下跳 动的动态的感觉。
• 佳译:In our country, we should view credibility and integrity as something more precious than gold. We should be more receptive and inclusive than the ocean. We should value fraternity rather than self-love and follow ethical standards that are even higher than the mountains. And this will make China a country of cultural and moral strength.
• 张培基:As it is,sentimentaLeabharlann Baidu recollection marks his awareness of post-middle age decline rather than his discovery of anything truly remarkable in the bygone days.
• 巷,是城市建筑艺术中一篇飘逸恬静的散文, 一幅古雅冲淡的图画。
• 译文:Regarding the art of urban architecture, the lane is an elegant and quiet essay, as well as a classic painting.
• 佳译:The lane, in terms of the art of urban architecture, is like a piece of prose of gentle gracefulness, or a painting of classic elegance and simplicity.
• 这是典型大量运用词性转换和填词和断句的一句 翻译。若不将其断开,处理不好,显得十分啰嗦。 总而言之,还是逻辑整合四个字。
三,选词精准
– “暖炉上水壶的盖子,则像伴奏乐器似的振动着” – 我的译文:the lid of the kettle on the heater was
vibrating like a musical instrument. – 佳译:and the lid of the kettle over the heating stove
• 这一句,张培基值得学习的就是他的逻辑整合。虽然中文是说,他总 有一天会觉得疲乏的死亡:他连拿都没有力量了。但逻辑是最后连拿 的力气都没有,直到最后疲乏至死。直译实在是太awkward了。
如果我们国家有比黄金还要贵重的诚信、有 比大海还要宽广的包容、有比爱自己还要 宽宏的博爱、有比高山还要崇高的道德, 那么我们这个国家就是一个居于精神文明 和道德力量的国家。
• 张培基:Those who dream away their life without doing anything useful are taking from this world much more than they are giving to it until at last they are too enfeebled to take any more and die of weariness.
• 译文:If people in our country consider credibility and integrity more precious than gold, are more tolerant than the ocean, appreciate fraternity and follow moral standards higher than mountains, our country will become one of cultural and moral strength.
• 我翻译得好中式。什么 “ The memory so romantic….” 而张培基则直接用sentimental recollection 作为物做主 语,用一个动词Mark就处理了。
二,逻辑整合
• 而“浮生若梦”的人,从这世界里拿去的很多,而给这世界的却很 少,——他总有一天会觉得疲乏的死亡:他连拿都没有力量了。
飘逸恬静,古雅冲淡这两个四字词语颇有
意境,翻译时若不能找到对等的英文,不 免降低了原文的格调。译文使用“定语+抽 象名词”的形式,将“飘逸恬静”译为 “gentle gracefulness”, “古朴冲淡”译为 “ classic elegance and simplicity” 十分对 等。
• People who regard their life just as a dream intake to much from the world while give little. In this way, they are doomed to death with fatigue; even they lost their last strength to take more.
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