最新《荆轲刺秦王》(搞笑英语小话剧-英语及翻译)
Jing Ke pricks Qin Wang(荆轲
荆轲刺秦王搞笑版
Jing Ke(荆轲） A San（阿三） Prince Dan(太子丹) Li MoChou、Wife（李莫愁、妻子）:
Aside（旁白）
•
Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Jing Ke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qin, “Ying Zheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action II
• 荆轲：Are you Li Mochou?你是李莫愁？ • 李莫愁：Yes.额。 • 荆轲：OK. I‟m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers‟ world. 好吧。我是荆轲, ,我要让你知道我才是天下第一杀手。 • 李莫愁：Are you challenging me? 你是在挑衅我? • 荆轲：Off course! 当然！ • 李莫愁：Come on! 来吧! • 音乐起，两人冲上前来， “人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊， 两刀砍死你 啊。。。。” • 李莫愁：What happened? Why aren‟t you hurt? 发生了什么事?为什么没 受伤? • 荆轲: We don„t need any reason to win a person. Don‟t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？） • 李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you„re gonna get.” I got it, Momma is right. 妈妈常说:“莫愁，人生就像一盒巧克力。你永远不知道你会得到什么。 “我知道了,妈妈说的对。”
荆轲刺秦王英语话剧(搞笑)
Action II 荆轲：Are you Li mochou? 李莫愁：Yes. 荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world. 李莫愁：Are you challenging（挑战的） me? 荆轲：Off course! 李莫愁：Come on! “人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍不死啊，两刀砍死 你啊。。。。” 李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt（使受 伤 ）? 荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要 么？） 李莫愁：Momma always said: “Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you‘re gonna（将要 ） get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲刺秦剧本-荆轲刺秦王话剧
荆轲刺秦剧本-荆轲刺秦王话剧英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王 4-5人剧本，短小搞笑Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；荆轲妻；谋士阿三；莫愁；旁白旁白(Aside )/介绍： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ 太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensivecommodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Of course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。
荆轲刺秦王英语话剧
卫兵丙：“Can we begin？” 秦王“begin” 卫兵乙：“Let the people of Yan， Jingke come in” 荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。 秦王：“Jingke. What’s wrong with you？” 荆柯：“Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body “. 秦王（不烦）：What’s the good things， quickly！” 荆柯:my dear king, here is the map and the head of樊於期
太子丹（抱拳）：How do you do 荆柯：How do you do. 荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。 阿三：Hero, wait for a moment. I have a problem which needs your help。 太子丹：You can gain a lot of things. 荆柯欲走又止。 太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片): Here is a card for traveling all over the world for free, please accept it please, hero. 荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走 太子丹（慌了）：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Huang! 旁白：“大世界”响起 有一妖艳女子走上（男扮女装），走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个 媚眼。荆柯两眼发直。 太子丹与阿三（击掌）Yeah! 荆柯（站直，厉声道）：Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out. But this lady…… 太子丹：No problem.
荆轲刺秦王五人英语剧本
荆轲刺秦王The man wants to kill the king演员表：秦王荆轲太医秦舞阳赵高对话原文：Outside荆轲：Do you know why we are sent to meet the king of Qin?秦舞阳：Our king of Yan told us to find a chance to kill the king of Qin when we meet him!荆轲：That's right! Are you scared? It's a dangerous task, we will die whenever we kill him or not!秦舞阳：I am Qin Wuyang, I had killed someone when I was just 8 years old. There is nothing that I will be scared of in the word.荆轲：You are really brave! I trust we can make it with your help! Let's go to meet the king of Qin.Inside宦官：My lord, the messengers of the country-Yan want to meet you, they are outside. 秦王：Just let them in! I just want to occupy the small country, I want to know what they want to do or give in.宦官出，请荆轲，秦舞阳进入,秦舞阳发抖秦舞阳小声：I am so scared. I want to go home and find my mother.荆轲：Are you kidding? You just say you are a brave man.秦舞阳：I am so sorry. I will keep calm down.荆轲上前：My lord, I am Jingke, the represent of my country,Yan. I am sent to make peace with you.秦王：You think too much. I can occupy your country whenever I want.荆轲：That's not benefit to you because a lot of your soldiers will die or bleed. But if you could make peace with us, we will give one state of our country to you without any money.秦王：Let me think twice. Oh! It's a good idea. But what state will you give me? 荆轲：I take a map of my country. I can show you the state in this map. And here is the map。
英语搞笑短剧role play荆轲刺秦王
荆轲刺秦王很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子------ -燕国的白哥和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。
有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。
于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。
白哥（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人”白哥高兴状然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。
对白哥说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宫中“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！！！我的仆人，你在哪里？”仆人上“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。
”白哥：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。
I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！”I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）白哥：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea! But who is the right candidate?仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。
英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王修改版
5-9人剧本（男版），短小搞笑Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；母氏；谋士阿二，三；莫愁；旁白等旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where are my ministers?阿二阿三: Honey, we are coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿二：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? 二十一世纪最需要的是什么（这句话要跟观众交流）阿二阿三：Talent! 人才！太子丹：Great!Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿二：After screening I have one promising persons on hand.阿三：I have one too!太子丹：What are they?阿二：His name is JinKe.阿三：Her name is LiMoChou，my lord!太子丹：but who should I choose ?阿二：Tomorrow let them PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿二阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁：Are you challenging me?荆轲：Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁：Come on!。
英语话剧剧本——荆轲刺秦王修改版
5-9人剧本（男版），短小搞笑Roles: 太子丹；荆轲；母氏；谋士阿二，三；莫愁；旁白等旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy countrythere were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was themost famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man inthe world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’mPrince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is ajealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where are my ministers?阿二阿三: Honey, we are coming.、graceful 、太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautifulhandsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”！阿二：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? 二十一世纪最需要的是什么（这句话要跟观众交流）阿二阿三：Talent! 人才！太子丹：Great!Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿二：After screening I have one promising persons on hand.阿三：I have one too!太子丹：What are they?阿二：His name is JinKe.阿三：Her name is LiMoChou，my lord!太子丹：but who should I choose ?阿二：Tomorrow let them PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿二阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁：Are you challenging me?荆轲：Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁：Come on!。
英文版英语课本剧——荆轲刺秦王(改编版)
Unclassified Story of JingkeAction I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(墨镜)：You are beautiful~ You are beautiful~ You are beautiful~ It’s true~ )太子丹（高兴状）：Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy. He will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬且妖里妖气) : Honey, I am coming~~~~太子丹（嫌弃）：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most cute, smart, charming, handsome, graceful, beautiful and dearest Prince Dan”!(节奏越来越快，从again and again开始，节奏感慢慢出来，背景的rap beat加入，后面的内容以rap形式呈现。
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find an awesome killer to kill YingZheng!（作杀状）太子：You are so brilliant! But who is the right choice?阿三：I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss Li Mochou, the other one is Mr. JinKe. Tomorrow they will fight for the honor of No.1 killer.太子：Well, tell me the result as soon as possible.阿三：Yes, my prince!Action II（第一段：拳击赛热身的背景音乐，六人分别簇拥着李莫愁和荆轲从两边上场，一个捶腿，一个揉肩，一个揉脸）（第二段：热身结束，伴舞退场，音乐换成《十面埋伏》，二人手持刀剑，架势摆开，慢慢绕圈踱步）荆轲: Lady first.李莫愁: Don’t look down on women. You first.荆轲: No no no, I am always a gentleman. I don’t bully woman.李莫愁: Cut your crap. Don’t waste my time! I still have lots of housework to dook?荆轲: Ok, ok. Look! Plane!（手指李莫愁身后，莫愁回头看，荆轲迅速将剑刺向莫愁）李莫愁（倒地）：Ah…you…you bastard…荆轲：Hahahahahahahah. Stupid womam. I am the best!（仰天长笑，潇洒离去）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get. (莫愁气绝身亡)Action III（荆轲乘坐二人手搭轿，华丽登场，表情得意至极。
英语短剧-荆轲刺秦王5-6-7人
End !
Thank you!
妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （《泰坦尼克号》的台词）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪， 荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance (人寿保 险) $1000, 000,I will transfer half of it to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
两人冲上前来 “人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊， 两刀砍死你啊。。。。” ——李莫愁倒地 。。。。
荆轲大笑 李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt? 荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most hansome man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank you mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
英语搞笑短剧roleplay荆轲刺秦王
荆轲刺秦王很久很久以前中国战国时代，有两个国家的王子------ -燕国的白哥和秦国的嬴政，他们是很好的朋友，他们经常一起赏花，喝酒，唱歌，游玩。
有一天，他们还在游山玩水的时候，突然发现了一面镜子，一面有着神奇魔力的镜子，这是一面可以回答任何问题的魔镜。
于是，白哥和嬴政迫不及待的凑了上去。
白哥（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜啊魔镜，我帅么？魔镜说：“当然了我的殿下，你是整个燕国最帅的人”白哥高兴状然后，张璐上，问：魔镜啊魔镜，告诉我，那谁是这个世界上最帅的人呢？Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (魔镜：It’s you)张璐做极度嚣张状。
对白哥说：“小弟啊，拿着这个镜子，自卑去吧，我是这个世界上最帅的人啊，啊哈哈啊哈........白哥回到宫中“欺人太甚了，太过分了，我要报复！！！！我的仆人，你在哪里？”仆人上“哦，亲爱的，我来了Honey, I am coming。
”白哥：“错，我应经告诉你多少遍了，你应该叫我最漂亮，最美丽，最英俊，最迷人，最可爱，最聪明和最亲爱的太子丹。
I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“对不起，亲爱的，我知道错了，我完全知道你现在的苦恼，我有一个好主意，那就是~找一个英雄杀了嬴政！”I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）白哥：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍仆人肩膀，做赞许状）好主意，可是谁是好的人选呢？Good idea! But who is the right candidate?仆人：经调查，有两个人比较合适，一个是李莫愁小姐，一个是荆轲，明天他们将为谁是天下第一杀手而决斗。
英语搞笑话剧剧本
英语搞笑话剧剧本篇一：搞笑英语话剧剧本.1doc搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous sword搞笑英语话剧剧本《荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）：Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。
荆轲刺秦王英语话剧
太空步滑到妻子身边)
荆轲 to lose weight like her (指着大屏幕上面的美女的照片)
场景一：(一日嬴政正在欣赏舞蹈，此处播放跳舞的音乐，在跳 舞的结尾有一舞女将衣袖甩在了嬴政的身上，嬴政大怒) 嬴 政：Do you have eyes? Do you want to kill me? Where is my weapon ? Where is my weapon ? Where is my weapon ? (解开腰带打跳舞仆人甲) 跳舞仆人甲（荆轲妻）：Forgive me！ Forgive me！ Forgive me！ 跳舞仆人甲：someday I will kill him！ 跳舞仆人乙：your husband will support you.
荆轲：money,money,这是money（荆轲拿出钱包）很不屑，从口袋 中掏出钱Hurry up(看表)，I have no time！I am busy now！ 阿三：Maybe I know what do you want(小声对荆轲说).How about beautiful girls?(指着韩老师说)Look，she is the most beautiful girl in the world .If you say OK,she is yours. 荆轲：(荆轲表示害羞，与此同时戴上桃心的面罩)，beautiful！I hav time now.I agree with you ! 太子丹：OK，it’s a deal! 荆轲：But I should go back to the hospital to see my wife and say goodbye to her. 太子丹：All right.(此时太子丹与荆轲拉钩，拉钩上吊一百年 不许变（never，never，never），荆轲下台后，然后太子丹与 阿三击掌)
荆轲刺秦王英语剧本
The man wants to kill the king旁白: 在这个战争时期,各国之间的战争似乎没完没了。
每一个国王或者部长都想找到一些超人来为他们工作。
随着时间的推移,喂养着些超级人类成为了他们流行一时的风气……这是一个crazy的世界。
在这个crazy的世界,有着那么一群crazy的人们,试图用crazy的方展示出那个crazy的历史。
你想知道当时的情形如何吗?下面就是见证真相的时刻。
第一幕：Conspire(密谋)太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：魔镜魔镜,告诉我,谁是世界上最漂亮的人?魔镜：是你！宇宙无敌明智英俊的王子殿下！（太子丹高兴状)太子丹（飞吻，妩媚）：谢谢~（面对观众）我是太子丹,魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人（举手，仰天，自恋状）。
但嬴政是个被嫉妒包围的坏家伙,如果镜子告诉他的真相，我相信他会杀了我。
我好害怕，好无助（双手抱肩，娇嫩）。
最近,他从我手中又抢了几块地。
（低手，握拳，恨）要是再发生这种事情。
（停顿）我就去shi！(急)（沉思，突然奸笑）哇嘎嘎嘎嘎！我叫人一起想个主意。
我要让那个始皇知道我是谁。
(向幕里大叫)阿三！阿三！快点出来！阿三(甩~) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹（生气）：我告诉你很多遍了！要喊我“宇宙无敌明智英俊的王子殿下”！阿三（甩！）：Sure, honey!太子丹（晕，再双手互搓，不好意思）：嬴政想要我命…肿么办肿么办肿么办（渐强）！阿三：淡定。
让我想想！（盘坐在地。
两手在头上画画如一休）旁白：当当当，砰！！阿三：哦了,我们可以送一个超人去把嬴政~ ~ ~（作杀状）那么,所有的美女、首饰和城市都是我们的啦~ ~哇嘎嘎嘎嘎嘎 ~（淫笑）太子与阿三作流口水状.太子：哈哈~ ~ ~。
好想法! 二十一世纪最需要的是什么？（群众演员在群众中喊：人才！）（拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）你觉得我们可以送那个过去呢?阿三：我有想过这个问题,我觉得我们可以送西门吹雪过去，他目前在我国荡来荡去。
英语话剧——荆轲刺秦王
荆轲刺秦王Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr.Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he faile d. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.One day, Yinzhen and Prince dan took a walk in the garden.Suddenly,they found a migic mirror.嬴政（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (魔镜：It’s you ! 嬴政高兴状) Thank you mirror! （面对观众）做极度嚣张状。
对太子丹说：“take this mirror,go to cry.I am the most handsome man in the world.Then Prince dan get home.Sheet！I am crazy,I want to revenge！！！My servent,where are you ?仆人上，说“Honey, I am coming。
”太子丹：“I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!仆人：“Oh, sorry. I am wrong. It’s too hot to handle. But I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng（作杀状）太子丹：Oh yeah, Good idea .You know: What is the most expensive commodity in this century?仆人：Talent ?太子丹：Yes. But who is the right candidate?仆人： After searching, I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss Limo Chou, the other is Mr. JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the No.1 killer of the world.太子丹：“Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?仆人：“OK。
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《荆珂刺秦王》旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, where some crazy people live, who are trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。
荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。
但最后他失败了。
你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。
Action I太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。
但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。
我很害怕。
我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？阿三: Honey, I am coming.亲爱的，我来了。
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。
我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政~太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？阿三：After screening , I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。
一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。
明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？阿三：Yes.Action II荆轲：Are you Li mochou?李莫愁：Yes.荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.好的。
我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。
李莫愁：Are you challenging me?你想挑战我吗？荆轲：Off course!李莫愁：Come on!李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?发生了什么？你为什么不疼？荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we?赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。
你永远不知道你会得到什么。
“我明白了，妈妈是对的。
太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？”？荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too! May I have your name card, please?哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now!太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?IC、ID、IQ卡？荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。
如果你说好的，她就是你的。
荆柯：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不说她是一个非常性感美丽的女孩，但中医是我唯一的爱！阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯：Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.嘿，兄弟！你这么聪明，但为什么你不知道中医？任何人都可以给你答案。
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM.传统的中国美眉太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.我必须告诉你的王牌。
女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。
这是一个全新的联合利华中国产品。
荆柯：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.减肥茶！我梦想它数千次。
我的妻子总是威胁说要离开我，如果我不能减轻我的体重。
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你想得倒好？假如你想要！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你很有诚意，我很高兴，你还是要说出来。
你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要？荆柯：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.告诉我，我应该做什么？我会为你做任何事。
Action III阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.英雄，我们已经达到了沂水河。
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends就停在这里。
再见，我的朋友太子丹：I will miss you, baby.荆珂：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!我爱你。
对我而言，你比这个世界上的任何东西都更有意义。
荆珂：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更爱你。
哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你。
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.怎么样。
作为一个男人，就去做！我会一直在这里等你。
荆珂：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise亲爱的！你一定要帮我这个忙…答应我你会活下去…你绝不会放弃…不管发生什么事…无论多么的绝望…现在就答应我，永远不要忘记你的承诺妻子："I promise."荆轲："Never let go. “永不放弃妻子："I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……这是一个去死的好日子。