The Fine Art of Putting Things Off中英对照

The Fine Art of Putting Things Off

拖延的艺术

Michael Demarest

迈克尔·德马雷斯特

1"Never put off till tomorrow," exhorted Lord Chesterfield in 1749, "what you can do today." That the elegant earl never got around to marrying his son's mother and had a bad habit of keeping worthies like Dr. Johnson cooling their heels for hours in an anteroom attests to the fact that even the most well-intentioned men have been postponers ever. Quintus Fabius Maximus, one of the great Roman generals, was dubbed "Cunctator” (Delayer) for putting off battle until the last possible vinum break. Moses pleaded a speech defect to rationalize his reluctance to deliver Jehovah's edicts to Pharaoh. Hamlet, of course, raised procrastination to an art form.

“今天能做的事情决不要推到明天。”切斯特菲尔德伯爵在1794年劝告儿子说。但是这位高雅德伯爵一直没有抽出时间来与孩子母亲举行婚礼，还有让约翰逊博士等名士在接待室久等的坏习惯。这足以证明，用心最善之人亦可是拖沓之士。罗马的一位大将军昆塔斯·费边·马克西姆斯为了有尽可能多的机会喝酒消闲，常常推迟战斗，被人起了“拖延者”的绰号；摩西不愿向法老传达耶和华的法令，便借口说自己语言有缺陷；当然哈姆雷特更是把拖延上升为一种艺术形式。

2The world is probably about evenly divided between delayers and do-it-nowers. There are those who prepare their income taxes in February, prepay mortgages and serve precisely planned dinners at an ungodly 6:30 p.m. The other half dine happily on leftovers at 9 or 10, misplace bills and file for an extension of the income tax deadline. They seldom pay credit-card bills until the apocalyptic voice of Diners threatens doom from Denver. They postpone, as Faustian encounters, visits to barbershop, dentist or doctor.

世上的人基本上可以平均地分成两类：拖延者和马上行动者。有些人二月份九准备好交个人所得税，预先偿还抵押借款，按计划准时在常人难以忍受的六点半开饭；另一些人则乐于在九点或十点时吃些剩饭剩菜、错放账单和文件以期延长缴税的期限。他们非要等到信用卡总部警告他们后果自负才肯去付信用卡上的帐。就像浮士德遇见魔鬼一样，他们推迟去理发店、去看牙医或看医生。

3Yet for all the trouble procrastination may incur, delay can often inspire and revive a creative soul. Jean Kerr, author of many successful novels and plays, says that she reads every soup-can and jamjar label in her kitchen before settling down to her typewriter. Many a writer focuses on almost anything but his task—for example, on the Coast and Geodetic Survey of Maine's Frenchman Bay and Bar Harbor, stimulating his imagination with names like Googins Ledge, Blunts Pond, Hio Hill and Burnt Porcupine, Long Porcupine, Sheep Porcupine and Bald Porcupine islands.

尽管拖延会带来诸多不便，但拖延经常可以激发和唤醒具有创新意识的灵魂。写下许多成功小说和剧本的作家琼·克尔说，她要把厨房里每个汤罐头和酱瓶子上的标签看上一遍后，才能安心地坐在打字机前。许多作家都关注着他们任务之外的各种杂事，譬如，关注在缅因州法国人海湾和巴尔海港进行的海岸和土地测量，其中的地名，如古今斯暗礁、布伦特池塘、黑奥山、伯恩特豪猪、朗豪猪、希波豪猪以及鲍尔德豪猪岛，都激起了他们的想象。

4From Cunctator's day until this century, the art of postponement had been virtually a monopoly of the military ("Hurry up and wait"), diplomacy and the law. In former times, a British proconsul faced with a native uprising could comfortably ruminate about the situation with Singapore Sling in hand. Blessedly, he had no nattering Telex to order in machine guns and fresh troops. A U.S. general as late as World War II could agree with his enemy counterpart to take a sporting day off, loot the villagers' chickens and wine and go back to battle a day later. Lawyers are among the world's most addicted postponers. According to Frank Nathan, a nonpost-poning Beverly Hills insurance salesman, "The number of attorneys who die without a will is amazing."

从“拖延者”年代到本世纪，拖延的艺术实际上被军事基地“赶快、待命”）、外交和法律所垄断。在过去，英国殖民地总督，面对当地人的起义，可以端着酒，安逸地思考民族叛乱的形式。庆幸的是，他没有电传机在一旁喋喋不休地传递着命令，一会儿是增加机关枪啊，一会儿又是增派军队啊什么的。直到二战时，美国将军还可以跟敌方将军达成协议，休一天运动假，去掠夺村民的鸡和酒，次日再战。律师是世界上最积习难改的延误者。据贝弗利山的从不拖沓的保险推销员弗兰克·内森说，“没有留下遗嘱就去世的律师数不胜数。”

5Even where there is no will, there is a way. There is a difference, of course, between chronic procrastination and purposeful postponement, particularly in the higher echelons of business. Corporate dynamics encourage the caution that breeds delay, says Richard Manderbach, Bank of America group vice president. He notes that speedy action can be embarrassing or extremely costly. The data explosion fortifies those seeking excuses for inaction—another report to be read, another authority to be consulted. "There is always," says Manderbach, "a delicate edge between having enough information and too much."

无志者，事也成。当然，习惯性拖延和刻意延缓是有差别的，特别是在商业机构高层中。美国银行集团副总裁查理德·曼德巴赫说，企业动力学鼓励谨慎行事，由此滋生了拖延。他提到，仓促行事往往导致尴尬的局面，或付出沉重的代价。信息爆炸鼓励了那些为自己的懒惰找借口的人——还有一篇报告要读，还有以个权威人士要咨询。曼德巴赫说：“数据的充分与泛滥之间总有条微妙的界线。”

6His point is well taken. Bureaucratization, which flourished amid the growing burdens of government and the greater complexity of society, was designed to smother policymakers in blankets of legalism, compromise and reappraisal—and thereby prevent hasty decisions from being made. The centralization of government that led to Watergate has spread to economic institutions and beyond, making procrastination a worldwide way of life. Many languages are studded with phrases that refer to putting things off—from the Spanish mañana to the Arabic bukra fil mishmish (literally "tomorrow in apricots," more loosely "leave it for the soft spring weather when the apricots are blooming").

他的观点被广为接受。随着政府负担日益加重和社会形势日趋复杂，官僚化盛行开来，其目的就是使政策制定者墨守陈规、寻求妥协和重新评估的过程中窒息——这样就不会做出草率的决定了。导致水门事件的政府集权化已经蔓延至经济机构等等广阔的领域，使得拖延成为世界性的一种生活方式。各种语言中有关推迟的短语星罗棋布——从西班牙语manana（在将来某个不确定的时间长了到阿拉伯的bukrafil mishmash （字面意思“明天的杏树”，其含义使“等到花儿也开了。”）