【小站教育】托福独立写作 - 主体段修改前后

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【小站教育】托福独立写作- 主体段范例初级

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托福独立写作
主体段范例: 初级
Sample 1
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论证: 慢生活对健康的好处 Main Idea: A slower pace of life is good for our health.
▪ 减少压力 ▪ 避免精神疾病 ▪ 减低肥胖几率
To start with, people who do things rapidly have higher working efficiency. First of all, they can perform more daily tasks within a shorter period time. Also, their high pace of life and work means that they are able to attend a lot of meetings and appointments. In addition, it is easier for them to complete their work projects before the deadline because of their keen sense of time urgency.
论证方法
TS: 对比
SS1: 因果
SS2: 转折
SS3: 事实
Sample 4
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论证: 做事速度快的人工作效率高 Main Idea: People who get things done quickly have higher efficiency.
▪ 在短时间内完成更多 ▪ 可参加更多的会议 ▪ 能在截止日之前做完项目
▪ perform more tasks in a shorter time ▪ attend meetings and appointments ▪ complete work projects before the deadline

托福综合写作批改

托福综合写作批改一、整体结构。

托福综合写作的结构超级重要哦。

一般来说呢，它是由阅读部分和听力部分组成，然后我们要在写作里把两者的关系处理好。

1. 开头部分。

- 好多小伙伴在开头就容易出问题。

你得简洁明了地指出阅读和听力的主要观点是啥，可别绕圈子。

比如说，阅读说学校应该建个新的体育馆，因为能让学生有更多锻炼的地方，还能提升学校形象。

那你在开头就得把这个观点和听力是同意还是反对给点出来。

要是听力是反对的，你就可以说“阅读认为建体育馆有诸多好处，然而听力却不这么认为”。

可别写得太啰嗦，什么“在当今社会，学校的建设是一个备受关注的话题，其中建体育馆更是引起了广泛的讨论……”这种就太拖沓啦。

2. 主体部分。

- 主体部分就是要详细阐述阅读和听力中的理由啦。

这里呢，要按照阅读和听力的对应关系来写。

比如说阅读给出了三个理由，听力也会针对这三个理由进行反驳或者支持。

那你就得一个一个地来。

- 如果阅读说建体育馆能让学生多锻炼是因为现在的体育馆设施太旧，学生都不爱去。

然后听力反驳说其实不是设施的问题，而是学生课业太重，根本没时间去新的体育馆。

那你在写的时候就可以说“阅读觉得旧体育馆设施导致学生不爱锻炼，但是听力指出是课业重而非设施问题”。

要把这种对比清晰地呈现出来哦。

而且呢，不要只简单地重复阅读和听力的内容，要用自己的话去概括，不然就会显得很生硬。

3. 结尾部分。

- 结尾也不能马虎。

要再次点明阅读和听力的主要观点关系。

像“总的来说，阅读提出的建体育馆的好处被听力一一反驳，建体育馆也许并不是一个明智的选择”这样就可以。

不要突然在结尾又提出新的观点或者想法，就紧扣阅读和听力的内容就好。

二、语言表达。

1. 词汇运用。

- 托福综合写作不需要用特别高大上、生僻的词汇。

有些同学为了显得自己很厉害，就拼命用那些很少见的词，结果用错了。

比如说“propitious”这个词，很多人以为是“合适的”意思就乱用，其实它更偏向“吉利的”。

还不如用“suitable”或者“appropriate”这种简单又准确的词呢。

托福独立写作主体段落结构过渡词主题句细节汇总讲解

托福独立写作主体段落结构过渡词主题句细节汇总讲解托福独立写作的主体段落是一篇*的精华所在，考生的论述观点论证细节都包含在主体段当中，因此需要认真写好。

今天给大家带来了托福独立写作主体段落结构过渡词主题句细节汇总讲解,希望能够帮助到大家，一起来学习吧。

托福独立写作主体段落结构过渡词主题句细节汇总讲解托福独立写作主体段落结构分析托福独立写作主体段落的*结构通常如下：Transitional words + topic sentence +development。

如果考生在平时能熟练运用这样的一个结构来展开作文，那么考场上就会凭借这份思维定势来帮助自己抓住每一分。

中间三个段落都可以套用这种模式。

托福独立写作主体段过渡词介绍Transitional words主要有以下三种，即表顺序：firstly, secondly, finally (last but notleast);表并列：besides, in addition;表对比：in contrast, incomparison。

这些衔接词会让*看起来脉络清晰，组织严密，也就做到了评分标准中的“well-organized”一条。

托福独立写作主体段主题句写法要点分析主题句，顾名思义，向考官展示的是考生作文的主要意旨所以它在中间段落中的作用是至关重要的。

通常主题句应该注意一下几点：1.主题句必须是陈述句。

有的考生想在写作中创新，于是采用反问句或者其他看似多样化的题目，然而这种多样性带来的后果是给考官观点不明确的印象，很自然地会影响到分数。

2.必须表明观点。

如果考生把一句无关痛痒的话放在主题句的位置上，很显然无法表明自身观点。

比如像“今天是晴天”这样的话没有表明观点;然而“今天是个好天气”就包含一种感情色彩在里面，给人一种立场明确的感觉。

考生应该切记：没有反驳余地的就不可以作为主题句。

3.态度必须坚决。

但是不能极端。

4.每段必须有主题句，理论上讲没有主题句是可以的，但是考场上不可以，没有主题就会浪费考官的时间去帮你总结主题，然而繁忙的考官是不会那么善良地去分析你的题目来抓取你的观点的。

托福toefl独立作文写作方法和模板整理.doc

托福toefl独立作文写作方法和模板整理toefl独立写作模板整理-个人整理1. toefl独立写作的基本要求是什么？独立写作在toefl中，位于最后一项考试内容，在综合写作之后。

要求考生在30分钟内就某一问题或者观点给出自己的想法和选择等，最少不少于300words（但是写到400字左右才有把握取得较好的分数）。

2. 独立写作框架是什么？从目前的整理的内容和在网上看到的内容来看，框架基本可以分为总-分-总的格式，基本分为5大段。

第一段：开头第二段：支持段落1第三段：支持段落2，如果还有其他观点，可以继续另起段落，写支持段落3第四段：让步段落+重申自己坚持的观点第五段：结尾、结论3. 独立写作的题型有哪些？从写作的基本内容来看，独立写作的题型基本可以归纳为两种。

一种是观点选择类，一种是比较对比类。

这两者可以转换。

观点选择类。

属于非强制比较的题型，即题目中并不要求考生对题目中的观点进行比较，但是也不禁止。

观点选择类的题型基本是给出两个对立的观点（如：你是否认为受过教育的人比没有受过教育的人更有可能成功？），或者一个观点的两个方面，要求你支持其中的一个观点或者方面。

比较对比类。

属于强制比较的题型。

即题目中明确要求进行观点比较。

比较对比类题型基本是给出两个观点或者一个观点的两个方面，然后要求考生就这两个观点或者一个观点的两个方面进行比较，并且要给出自己的观点和偏好。

二者的转化。

两种题型可以互相转化，但是为了更多的写字、凑字数，一般将“比较对比类”题型作为主要的题型，“观点选择类”题型转化为“比较对比类”来写。

即：若题目要求考生选择a观点或者b观点的时候，我们就可以说选择a，然后写a的两个优点，然后说b的一个优点，然后说a比b更好。

为什么说“比较对比类”更容易凑字数呢？很好理解，比较对比类的题型，我们不得不对两个观点都进行论述，理论上讲字数要多一些的，而“观点选择类”很容易就其中一个观点来写，假如一不小心考生没有那么多的想法，就很难凑够字数了。

托福独立写作主体段如何展开？摸清套路合理仿写高分模板

托福独立写作主体段如何展开?摸清套路合理仿写高分模板托福独立写作主体段写作最重要的是逻辑，要让我们的说理逻辑清晰，我们需要借鉴参考一些高分范文的写法，揣摩作者的写作思路和行文架构，尤其是主体段展开的方式。

来看看吧!托福独立写作主体段如何展开?摸清套路合理仿写高分模板题目：Students can use their mobile phones to surf on the Internet or listen to the music while doing their homework.立场：不同意理由：做作业的时候干别的很难集中精力，必定会影响效率【段落示例】[1] Firstly, it is impossible for students to concentrate on their homework while doing something else at the same time. [2] This is because homework usually demands a relatively quiet place and full concentration from the student. [3] Conversely, if a student is doing homework and listening to music or surfing online as well, his or her attention will be torn apart, and the efficiency of finishing homework will be inevitably affected. [4] A good case in point is my own experience. [5] When I am working on a mission such as preparing a presentation, I have to devote all my attention to it and cannot afford any slight disturbance. [6] If I randomly refresh my Weibo or Wechat on cell phone, my job would be bound to last for a longer time.[1] 主题句：It is + adj. + for sb. to do A.[2] 正面说理：This is because….[3] 反面说理：Conversely….[4] 引出例子：A good case in point is X’s experience.[5-6] 阐述例子： Content of the example【模板总结】It is important or beneficial for sb. to do A in order to X. Thisis because A 对于 X 的重要性或者好处。

【TPO小站】托福写作技巧(总结)

托福写作技巧(总结)把教授如何反驳文章中三个分论点挺清楚，例子都是阅读文章里的所以不用记，听力里主要是在讲阅读文章中的例子有哪些缺陷或不严谨的地方，从而无法成为有效的论据，甚至成为别的观点的论据。

有自己的写作模式、写作套路。

先不限时写几篇，写完一篇就立刻打印出来逐字逐句修改（电脑上改容易偷懒），把过于简单的词和句子一一替换，注意别用太难的词和没把握的词，能用到6级词汇就差不多了，心情好了再拽两个托福词汇上去也就足够了。

我觉得最好用的就是形容词和副词，可以记几个托福水平的精彩形容词和副词，选择自己看着顺眼的，在平凡的名词前加好看的形容词，在平淡的句子里随处放置抢眼的副词，这样文章一下子就丰富起来了。

插入语，句式变换，每段第一句试着倒装、或用被动语态多用具体的详细的例子，别停留在就事论事上，可以试着延伸到生活的其他方面注意线性思维，“总分总”托福作文写五段，第一段是中心思想段，二三四是支持段落，最后是总结段落无论是综合写作还是独立写作，考生追求的基本目标是把想说的意思用书面英语表达清楚，让阅卷人读懂和明白。

从语言角度来说，有两大标准，即准确性和多样化。

能够达到词词准确，又使用到不同的词句来表达相同、相似的意思，从语言角度来说已经符合托福考试的高分要求。

仿写。

只看不写，永远不能将输入语言化成输出语言。

尽量仿写整句，保持原句结构，替换内容！In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that.........+观点：In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that parents are the best teachers。

用一句话说，简单地认为父母是最好的老师是相当肤浅的。

综合写作部分的评分标准：1、内容的完整性和准确性。

简单地说，就是文章是否有将讲座中的关键信息点完整、准确地提取出来，并和阅读材料中的相关内容有效地一一对应。

托福独立写作作文修改

托福独立写作作文修改第一篇：托福独立写作作文修改独立5-现象证明P21 2010.10.31NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the cation is the foundation of a country.People today have a stronger concept（搭配不当，改为sense）of being educated than in the past.I agree with the statement that people gain an easier access to all kinds of educations at current times.Firstly, there are much more schools available today than in the past.No matter where you live, in big cities or in the countryside, the local government spends a large amount of money on the constructions of various types of schools, such as primary schools, middle schools, high schools and even schools for adults.More and more universities and colleges have been built to ensure higher education for top students.If you want to study in schools, you will always find a proper one to attend.Secondly, the teaching approach diversifies （there are diversified teaching approaches）.Except for（In addition to包括在内）blackboard and chalks, many advanced teaching devices are being used today in most schools, including computers, multi-media and some other instruments.Moreover, labs and libraries have also come into use for students to study deeper and wider(who want to make a deeper and wider study on the fields they are interested in).What is more, the teachers' teaching levels are greatly improved by communicating with other educators from all over the world.The technology becomes more developed than in the past, so it is easier now to study.Thirdly, people have equal rights to receive education.As we all know, people in the past were in terrible discriminationbecause of their sex and race(many people such as women and the black people were denied the right to education because they were discriminated against in the society because of their sex and race.两句合起来)For example, women and black people were used to be considered as people in lower classes or even slaves and weren't allowed to go to school.However, they have equal rights to study in schools nowadays.（要回到主题，和更容易接受教育要直接联系起来，所以再加一句）Obviously, these people surly have easier access to education.T o sum up, almost everyone today has equal rights to go to all kinds of schools with diversified teaching approaches.So people do have an easier way to receive education now than in past times.The reasons above firmly support my opinion(最后一句话不够有力，可以将三点简明扼要的用一句话概括).(Word Count: 294)独立8-包含因果关系P15 2010.3.20NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today can solve many important problems so they do not need help from the government.With the development of the society, people can do more things by themselves nowadays（于什么时候比较？）than in the past.But I disagree with the statement that people can solve many important problems, therefore the government does not need to help them（therefore they need not depend on the government for any support）.There(are)three reasons as follows: Firstly, People today still cannot solve many important problems by themselves in fact in terms of education, unemployment, war, starvation, poverty and so on.These are international problems all over the world, so a single person or even a group of people may not have the abilities to solve(be capable of solving)them.For example, if a man wants to stop a war between two countries, even he is powerful or wealthy, he(he,however wealthy and powerful,)cannot prevent them from fighting with each other without the help of others.Secondly, people today need more help from the government.As the life standards are getting higher, people have more requirements than before.They ask for all kinds of utilities for entertainment or exercise in public places.They need various insurance to make their lives more comfortable.They also require more schools and hospitals to take care of the young people and patients(the sick).Thirdly, whether people today can solve many problems or not has nothing to do with whether they need the government's help.It is the responsibility of the government to help people.The government must give people help no matter how powerful they are.In a word, the statement that people today do not need help from the government because they can solve many important problems is wrong.The reasons above can firmly support my idea.(260w)独立1-包含should, important, necessary的简单话题P75 2009.5.30 Younger school children(aged between five and ten)should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.In order to broaden the horizon of younger school children, it is suggested that they should study art and music as well as other common courses.I agree with it because of the following reasons.First of all, art and music can help students to relax.Campus life is stressful even for younger children who aged between five and ten, with all kinds of homework and assignments.However, by having music and art classes, students can get a much-needed escape from the heavy work.It can help them to relax their mind and study more efficiently in other classes.Second, music and art classes help improve students' interpersonal relationships.Students will meettogether to talk about a same topic if they have common interests.For example, students attending art classes can talk about the masterpiece or life story of a famous painter.Students having music classes will enjoy the beautiful melody or sing songs together.By communicating with each other, they will build a strong friendship and learn how to behave in various situations.Third, music and art classes provide students with plenty of information about great artists and their works.By learning knowledge in artistic fields students can acquire different cultures from different countries.The artists and musicians describe what they see or hear in their works, showing feelings meanwhile, which bring the students the atmosphere at that time.To sum up, art and music classes should be taken by younger school students to broaden their horizon.(248w) 独立2-包含比较(better, prefer)的简单话题P24 2010.10.9NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.No matter where people live, in big cities or in the countryside, they must take care of their family members.Basically I prefer the former one.Living in big cities has more advantages than living in the countryside.Firstly, for old people, living in big cities can be convenient.There are a large number of hospitals which are available to all kinds of diseases.When the old people catch a cold, have a fever or even heart attack, they could be taken to the best hospital nearby and received treat in time and recover as soon as possible.But in the countryside, situations in hospitals are obviously terrible.Secondly, children should receive good education, so living in big cities is a wise choice.Schools in big cities which getfinance support from(the)government provide sufficient teaching facilities for the students in order that the students can study more easily and do more experiments.Moreover, the teaching levels of the teachers in big cities are higher on average than that of the teachers in the countryside.Admittedly, Living in big cities may have a few downsides.For example, the air may be not as fresh as it in the countryside and the noise may make people crazy sometimes.However,(the)government is taking measures to prevent the pollutions and people are also becoming aware of the importance of environmental protection.It is sure that the problems can be solved in the future.In a word, people can take care of their family members much better when they live in big cities than in the countryside, because advanced society welfares are everywhere in big cities.（Word Count: 272）独立7-包含绝对词（never, always, only ,no longer,最高级等）.P92 2007.8.4 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Printed books will no longer exist.With the development of technology, digital books are increasingly coming into use while printed book are less used in our lives.It has been argued that printed books will no longer exist in the future.I disagree(with this opinion)although the statement has a grain of truth.First of all, admittedly, digital books have some advantages over printed books.First, it is cheaper to download a digital version from the internet than to buy a hardcover printed book.You may download Harry Potter for only half the price of the paper version.Second, the digital book is very convenient for us to carry because it is much lighter than the printed book.We can download thousands of articles into our mp4 or electronic books to read them everywhere instead of carrying several heavybooks.However, to say that printed books will disappear from our lives in the future is unacceptable.First, hardcover printed books are worth collecting.They are usually very valuable with their beautiful covers and plentiful contents.Second, the printed books made by(of)papers are good for people's eyes.If we stare at a digital book all the time, our eyes will be tired or even hurt.Reading for a long period may do enormous harms to people's health, especially to children.Third, printed books are of great importance in some special ceremonies.They are usually the symbols of holy things.It is ridiculous for a minister to read with a digital book in a church.T o sum up, although the digital books are more and more useful, it is sure that printed books will exist forever.(267)第二篇：托福 TPO31独立写作托福 TPO31独立写作题目Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the e specific reasons and examples to support your answer.托福 TPO31 独立写作范文：In modern society, there is no denying that our paces speed up.A small proportion of people who cannot keep up with this trend or resist the world for the fittest, may hold a viewpoint that a mutable society leads people to less satisfaction and mitigation of sense of happiness since such a world might cause the alienation between good fellows and contamination of our environment;however, in my view, it is not the case.As a matter of fact, in a world changing more rapidly, people tend to become satisfied much more easily.First illustration which can demonstrate my opinion can be the trail of technologicaldevelopment.In the past five decades, millions of new inventions had appeared, entering our daily life, making it much more convenient.T o name a good example, in 1896,Benz assembled the first three-wheel car in the world.Though it brought accidents and mortality to the world, we cannot deny the enjoyment of ferocious speed brought by cars, which made our jaunt convenient.We can simply drop by a old friend 100 miles, a distance taking at least half day before, away in one hour.Another good instance is the invention of smart phone.in 1972, Martin, the chief engineer in Moto devised the first portable telephone.Then, this innovation revolutionized out life.Just simply imagine what our life looked like without cell phones: people could not keep contact with their friends and exigent messages might be blocked.Then in 2007, Steve Jobs brought iPhone with Facetime to the world.The most significant aspect of Facetime is that this app allows us to communicate with actual image, not just voices.Then, how can we state that modern society steals the sense of fraternity among people? Second demonstration which can help me develop my view that a rapidly changing society makes people more satisfied is the use of new energy resources.We may still remember the Great Smog, one of the gravest air pollution accidents in our history due to the heavily gathered inversion layer of sulfur dioxide originated with burning of coal in 1950s, London.People died of respiratory diseases after inhalation of poisonous air.How can they live happily in a world brimmed with pollutions? But nowadays, we have developed new energy resources to tackle this problem such as hydropower and wind power.To name an example, in 2007, nuclear power plants generate 14% of the total electricity of the US, thus saving tons of coals and reducing the level ofinhalable particles.Recently, governments and organizations have taken measures to support researches of renewable resources and to find substitutes for fossil fuels.Natural reserves and sanctuaries are established, places of interest and spots are refurbished, and factories and manufacturers with pestilent exhaust are shut down.People therefore are provided with much more opportunities to relax by enjoying the beauty of nature.T o draw a conclusion, in a world that is rapidly changing, we are offered a variety of brand-new experiences and highly evolved products, which make life much easier than before.We are in a world filled with convenience brought by high technologies that develop so fast.Then, how can we blame on the changing world while enjoying happiness and satisfactions originated from them? 第三篇：托福独立写作题型分析[推荐]吕欣泽：浅谈托福独立写作题型及策略2013-07-30 10:44小马过河admin分享到：摘要：从题型上来讲，托福独立写作分为绝对型、对比型和隐藏all型。

托福写作主体段常见写法

期中考试试题----地理2015-11（一）单项选择题（共54分）本大题共36小题，每小题1.5分，共54分 1．决定我国自然地理环境差异的两个基本因素是A ．土壤和植被B ．气候和地貌C ．水文和土壤D ．植被和水文每一个区域都具有特定的地理环境条件，并对区域发展产生深刻的影响。

不同区域由于地理环境的差异，人们的生产、生活的特点有许多不同，区域的发展水平、发展方向等也存在差异。

此据比较长江三角洲和松嫩平原两个区域，回答2-3题。

2．下列各项，不属于长江三角洲和松嫩平原共性的是 A ．都是平原地区 B ．都位于我国的东部季风区 C ．都位于入海口处 D ．土壤都比较肥沃 3．有关这两个区域农业生产活动的说法不正确的是A ．长江三角洲属于水田耕作业，主要种植水稻。

B ．松嫩平原发展旱地耕作业，主要种植玉米、春小麦、大豆等作物。

C ．长江三角洲的作物熟制以两年三熟为主，松嫩平原则一年一熟。

D ．长江三角洲水产业较为发达；松嫩平原的西部降适宜发展畜牧业。

水土流失是形成黄土高原千沟万壑自然景观的主要原因，每年流失的土壤约16亿吨，据此回答4—7题：4．黄土高原水土流失严重，主要人为原因是A ．长期以来的毁林开荒B ．过度放牧和过度樵采C ．土壤疏松，降水变率大D ．干旱和大风现象5．保持水土的根本措施是A ．平整土地B ．修水平梯田C ．深耕改土D ．造林种草 6．黄土高原人地矛盾尖锐，关键问题在于A ．植被破坏B ．人口过度增长C ．贫困D ．环境恶化 7．黄土高原地区可持续发展的基础是A ．经济可持续发展B ．社会经济持续发展C ．生态可持续发展D ．减少污水排放量 8．山西省产生生态环境问题的根源是A ．露天开采B ．矿区道路的铺设C ．开矿井巷道的建设D ．重化工业为主的产业结构我国为了改善日益恶化的生态环境，建设了许多防护林体系，其中规模较大的是“三北” 防护林和长江中上游防护林。

据此，回答9—10题： 9．“三北”防护林所起的主要的环保功效是A ．吸烟除尘B ．美化环境C ．防风固沙D ．净化空气 10．长江中上游防护林所起的生态作用是A ．涵养水源、保持水土B ．繁衍物种、维护生物多样性C ．调节气候、稳定大气成分D ．净化空气、吸烟除尘图2是某地区的地形图，回答11—14题：11．与长江三角洲、珠江三角洲等地区相比，图示平原地区成为商品粮基地的优势条件是A ．交通发达B ．单位面积产量高C ．水热条件好D ．人均耕地面积广 12．以下不属于．．．该商品粮基地特点的是 A ．以国营农场的经营方式为主B ．粮食商品率处于较低水平C ．已经形成粮食作物的地区专业化生产D ．是我国农业机械化水平最高的地区之一13．城市P 某家具厂生产的实木家具销往全国许多地方。

托福作文修改前后对比学习

托福作文修改前后对比学习很大同学们在复习托福写作的时候，不是很清楚托福写作具体的高分原因。

今天我们就通过两篇作文修改前后的对比，让大家更清晰的了解到托福写作满分作文的优点。

NO.1原文Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival. A very traditional festival for people celebrating the harvest and enjoying family time.Almost half residents in our building back to their hometown in this short vacation.Because not so many apartment have lights on tonight.I called my mun this morning to wish her happy Mid-Autumn festival.Unfortuantely, I got some bad news about my grandmother.My mun told me she is very sick since couple days before.They are all going to the countryside where my grandmother is living to visit her.I really hope she will get better. My grandmother is such a kind-hearted, warm, courteous, generous old lady.As 82 years old, she has been through a lot. But she is always optimistic, positive and open-mind.My mun always saying she admire my grandmother so much, she doesn't think she can be as good as my grandmother in terms of a lots things. For example, be positive and open-minded.Of course, there are some good things happened today. One of these is I got my Hongkong permit this afternoon when I already gave up and found another illegal way that my friend told me to get into Hongkong tomorrow.Mike seems happier than me, because he was worried about that "illegal way" will cause trouble for us.Yes, he is a such cute and timid guy. I still remember he was so scared if there were cops near by during the time when he hasn't got his working visa yet.No.1被修改后Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival; a traditional festival for Chinese people celebrating the harvest and enjoying family time. During this short festival, almost half of the residents in our building went back to their hometown. I am aware of this because there aren’t many apartments with lights tonight. After taking a long shower this morning, I called my mum to wish her a happy Mid-Autumn festival. Unfortunately, I got some bad news about my grandmother. My mum told me she has been very sick since couple days before. They are all going to the countryside where my grandmother is living to visit her. I really hope she will get better.My grandmother is such a kind-hearted, warm, courteous, generous old lady. As 82 years old, she has been through a lot. But she is always optimistic, positive and open-mind. My mum is always saying she admires my grandmother quite a lot.Of course, there were some good things that happened today. After waiting for almost two weeks, I finally received my Hong Kong visa this afternoon. I had given up on receiving it, especially since a friend had already suggested an illegal way to go to Hong Kong without a visa. Mike seems relieved because he doesn’t have to illegally go to Hong Kong with me. Yes, he is such a cute and timid guy. I still remember when he didn’t have his working visa, he would get nervous at the sight of the police.备注：被修改后的文章里删除了原文里的一句话“My mom doesn't think she can be as good as my grandmother in terms of a lots things. For example, be positive and open-minded.”因为美国朋友说这句话看不懂也实在不知道怎么修改...No.2 原文I haven’t got up early for a long time. I set my goal from “get up at 6:30” to “get up at 7:00”, but I still can’t achieve it. For example, I got up at 7:39 this morning, even though I heard my alarm ringed several time since 6:50. It makes me frustrated when I finally get up and find out that I overslept again and again. Get up early is just a small thing, why I can’t just do it?!With frustration, I started my day.The first task: review English words for 25 minutes.It was going quite good. I fully concentrated on it, and finished it in an effectively way.It is a good start, kind of cheer me up for a little bit.However the “calling apple customer service” thing in the next completely destroyed my day.I have been waiting on line for almost one hour, finally someone picked it up, but she kept saying she can’t hear me though I was speaking very loudly. And then she hand up on me! I got pissed of badly. I have to spend another hour to get through this stupid customer service line. Actually the truth is even worse! I have been waiting for another 2 hours already, but there is still no one on the phone!It’s so ridiculous! They are the one who made a mistake, but I am the one who are suffering from their mistake and even suffering from solving the problem.Maybe I get too emotional this morning. It is bad for my health and it makes me can’t think straight. I find it is so hard to calm down to do other things. What worse is, my emotional behavior will affect people who are around me. I feel sorry.No.2 被修改后I haven’t gotten up early in such a long time. My initial goal was to wake up at 6:30AM, then I moved it to 7:00AM, but I still couldn’t achieve my goal. I woke up at 7:39 this morning,even though I heard my alarm go off around 6:50AM. When I finally woke up, I realized I had overslept again. I became frustrated because I think waking up early is such a small thing, but yet I can’t bring myself to do it.My first task this morning was to review my English vocabulary words for 25 minutes, which went quite well. I fully concentrated on it, and finished it in an effective manner. It was a good start, and it cheered me up for a little bit.My second task this morning was to call the apple customer service regarding a refund. I was kept on hold for almost one hour before someone finally answered. Although I was speaking very clearly, the customer service woman who answered the phone kept saying she couldn’t hear me. And then, she hung up the phone which got me badly pissed off. It’s so ridiculous! They made the mistake, but I am the one who is dealing with the consequences.Maybe I have gotten too emotional this morning. It is bad for my health, and it doesn’t make me think straight. I find it difficult to calm down, and focus on other things. Even worse, my emotional behavior has affected people who are around me. I feel so sorry.。

托福独立写作之自我修改流程

托福独立写作之自我修改流程面对托福独立写作，很多同学苦于无人帮其修改文章，因此渐渐放松了写作的练习，到考试之前也没下多大功夫。

然而在实际的教学过程中，N多错误都是同学们自己都觉得“低级”的，但为什么自己在写作过程中发现不了呢？多数同学可能在写作过程中一味挖空心思想内容、想句型，没有脑细胞来思考散落一地的各种错误；待文章写完以后，又懒得去一而再、再而三地反复琢磨，表现出对写作没有耐心。

下面这些自我修改文章的硬指标或许能够帮助同学们重拾对写作的兴趣和信心。

托福独立写作自我修改1：开头段是否包含主题句？是否简洁？开头段必须包含主题句。

有技巧的作家可能不会同意。

但对于思路相对简单的托福作文来说，这是毋庸置疑的。

当然，总论点并非“一边倒”：除了“绝对赞同或反对”、“部分赞成或反对”这样常见的主题句来说，作者的总论点当然可以是中立的，即“……视情况而定”。

主题句既可以是文章开头的第一句，也可以是最后一句，还可以是中间一句。

一定的是，总论点一定要简洁。

简洁的标准就是，尽量用一句话，换言之，一个简单句或复合句，完整表述作者对某一个问题的态度。

简洁的标准并不意味着字数少。

好的主题句应该包含题目的大部分关键字。

何谓关键字?即能够基本概括题目的几个词语。

把题目抛开，多数读者都能够根据这几个关键字，猜测出题目讨论的范围。

托福独立写作自我修改2：主体段落是否包含分论点？是否简洁？三句分论点相加是否可以概括全文？分论点的作用首先在于展开总论点，其次在于引领各个主体段落。

按照这个原则，我们把文章主体的两段或三段做一下精简，只保留每段的第一句话，看剩下的内容能否支撑起总论点。

我在每次修改同学们的文章时总是把这三段的第一句话用下划线标出来，请他们自己体会自己文章的结构是否清晰。

当然，分论点有时也可以是段落内的第二句话。

但是，打住!不可以是第三句、第四句，也不可以是最后一句。

分论点跟主题句一样，也需要干净利落。

最好直接简明地告诉考官和读者此段主体部分将朝哪个方向发展。

【小站教育】托福独立写作- 主体段范例中级

▪ hire employees from local area ▪ work closely toward a common goal ▪ reduce overall unemployment rate
Sample 12
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论证: 自己做企业可产生更多的价值 Main Idea: Having one’s own business can create more values. The most obvious advantage to having one’s own business is that it can create more values for employees, business owners and the larger society. If there is a decent company in the community, it would be able to hire employees from the local area and provide them with a stable income and improve their living standards. In addition, teamwork in a business allows people to work closely with each other toward a common goal, which adds meaning to our daily life. Finally, with the increasing number of business owners, the overall unemployment rate will decrease because more and more people can find suitable jobs.

托福独立写作主体段写法技巧——单一观点篇

托福独立写作主体段写法技巧——单一观点篇托福独立写作对于很多托福考生来说是取得高分难以逾越的一道鸿沟，这不仅需要大量的练习，还需掌握其中的诀窍。

今天，小编为各位考生带来托福独立写作主题段单观点的写法点拨，希望对各位考生有所帮助。

托福独立写作主体段写法技巧——单一观点篇通常对于独立写作我们都会选择五段式的结构，这个结构包括三个主体段，按照题型我们可以将写作类型分为三个：支持反对类(单观点)、对比比较类(双观点)、自主定义类。

首先我们要明确一下定义，单观点话题就是说题目只要求考生表明自己的态度，支持或反对，并且题目中没有任何要求拿来作比较的对象。

今天，闫玲娟老师跟各位考生分析一下有关单观点类题目的写作技巧，下面是一道典型的题目：Topic 2007.11.3People who do not work because they have enough money are rarely happy.这道题就是一道典型的单观点题目，“那些因为有足够的钱而不去工作的人，他们鲜少开心。

”针对单观点话题主体段的展开有两种方式，举例我们支持是A观点，先来看第一种写法。

1. A+A+A这种写法代表着我们需要用三个理由支持自己的选择。

Topic：It is desirable to know about events from all over the world even if it is unlikely to have any effect on your daily life.了解世界各地发生的事情是好的，纵使这些事不会对我们的日常生活产生任何影响。

1. To begin with, being aware of these cultural events means having more topics for communication.2. In addition, learning news about science is necessary for us to form correct world views in today’s fast-changing society.3. In the end, understanding political incidents serves as an excellent method to broaden our horizons.在这种写法里考生可举出了三个论点正向支持自己的态度，认为了解这些事情是必要的。

托福培训丨托福独立写作主体段的论证方式

托福培训丨托福独立写作主体段的论证方式朗阁托福培训中心丁仡然在托福独立写作当中主体段的写作水平往往是决定一篇文章高分与否的关键所在，可以说一篇文章70-80%的分数是取决于主体段写作的好坏的。

而托福独立写作主体段对于写作的层次和论证方式又有着一定的讲究和固定的要求。

本文中，朗阁托福培训中心的老师就给广大考生介绍一下托福写作主体段有哪些主要的论证方式以及范例的讲解。

首先，我们先说一下托福写作主体段的一般写作层次和论证方式：主体段一般由四句话组成：第一句：topic sentence（主题句）第二句：supporting sentences（1-2句支持句），使用具体的因果论证或者假设论证、并列关系等来具体的解释说明主题句。

第三句：举例子（写出一个长长的例子用于举例论证）第四句：这一段的小结（可以使用对比论证或者因果论证等小结这一段）知道了每段主体段的写作结构后，现在我们就来谈谈具体的每个主体段的论证方式：第一种：举例论证可以这么说，举例论证是所有论证方法里，尤其是托福写作里面最重要也是必须要用的一种论证方式，因为根据评分标准，在托福4-5分的标准里都明确提出了：5分：using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details4分：using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications,and/or details而无论是托福，雅思还是SAT考试都是严格的按照评分标准来批改的，所以根据这个标准学生必须要重视和用出举例论证，否则托福写作无法拿到高分。

接下来问题来了，究竟老美喜欢的举例论证有几种形式呢？接下来笔者就为考生们一一回答。

第一种：以for example, for instance, such as等词组引出的句子，这种也是最普遍或者用的最多的一种。

托福写作中独立写作易犯10个错误

托福写作中独立写作易犯10个错误托福写作中常常会犯一些明显的错误。

考生们要谨记，切不可掉以轻心。

为了让大家尽量避免这些错误，下面是学习啦小编给大家带来的托福写作中独立写作易犯10个错误，供大家参考！托福写作：独立写作易犯10个错误1、不一致(Disagreements)所谓不一致不光指主谓不一致，它还包括了数的不一致时态不一致及代词不一致等。

例1.Whenonehavemoney,hecandowhathewantto.(人一旦有了钱，他就能想干什么就干什么。

)剖析：one是单数第三人称，因而本句的have应改为has;同理want应改为wants。

本句是典型的主谓不一致。

改为：Onceonehasmoney,hecandowhathewants(todo).2、修饰语错位(MisplacedModifiers)英语与汉语不同，同一个修饰语置于句子不同的位置，句子的含义可能引起变化。

对于这一点中国学生往往没有引起足够的重视，因而造成了不必要的误解。

例1.IbelieveIcandoitwellandIwillbetterknowtheworldoutsidethecampus.剖析：better位置不当，应置于句末。

3、句子不完整(SentenceFragments)在口语中，交际双方可借助手势语气上下文等，不完整的句子完全可以被理解。

可是书面语就不同了，句子结构不完整会令意思表达不清，这种情况常常发生在主句写完以后，笔者又想加些补充说明时发生。

例1.Therearemanywaystoknowthesociety.ForexamplebyTV,radio,newspaperands oon.剖析：本句后半部分“forexamplebyTV,radio,newspaperandsoon.”不是一个完整的句子，仅为一些不连贯的词语，不能独立成句。

改为：Therearemanywaystoknowsociety,forexample,byTV,radio,andnewspaper.4、悬垂修饰语(DanglingModifiers)所谓悬垂修饰语是指句首的短语与后面句子的逻辑关系混乱不清。

托福写作常见病句修改

托福写作常见病句修改托福写作常见病句修改下面店铺就给大家带来托福写作中，常见的一些病句，以及对应的修改，希望大家可以好好学习，也希望这些能够帮助到大家！1. The artist's work pushes our civilization to a higher level.改正：Artists' work upgrades our civilization.2. For example， you work in a big factory.改正： Suppose you work in a big factory.3. You'll find you are fit for business and you can make it your main job.改正：You'll find that you are cut out for business and you can make it your career.4. We will own nothing at all if we depend on luck.改正： We will get nowhere if we rely on luck.5. He will get a higher salary to improve his living level.改正： He will get a higher salary， thus improving his life.6. Their brain is still very young.改正： They are still immature.7. Dissatisfaction makes people produce desire for better things.改正： Dissatisfaction impels people for the better.8. They can't analyze clearly what is right and what is wrong.改正： They cannot tell right from wrong.9. It will help children to form a good habit of dealing with time.改正： It will help children learn to make good use of time.10. Though it is not the best job， it afford to his life.改正： Though it is not the best job， a job is a job. He can make ends meet with it.11. Since people are always not satisfied with their present situation， they want further development.改正： Since people are never satisfied with their status quo，they want further development.12. The only thing they need to do is to find a job which can easily get big money.改正： The only thing they need to do is to find a job that can bring them big money.13. They like an active life but not a peaceful life.改正： They like an active life rather than a peaceful one.14. Some cigarettes may even cost a larger sum of money.改正： Some cigarettes may cost even more.15. Firstly， dissatisfaction encourages the discovery of new products.改正：Firstly，dissatisfaction encourages the invention of new products.16. Insgroupsto suit the needs of enteringsintoswork，students must grasp some technical skills.改正： Insgroupsto meet the needs of future work， students must learn some practical skills.17. It is very necessary more qualified scientists and technicians.改正：Qualified scientists and technicians are in great demand.18. This knowledge will become a part of your body.改正： This knowledge will become part of you.19. They cannot think clearly.改正： They cannot think straight.20. Money can improve their living standard.改正： Money can improve their life.21. Parents always think that children will get a good job and earn a lot of money.改正： Parents always expect their children to get a good job and earn a lot of money.22. If a student only cares about money，will lead to be unhappy all his life.改正：If a student only cares about money，he will be misled and will be unhappy all his life.23. One purpose of education is to study the way in which he studies later.改正： One purpose of education is to learn to learn.24. Many parents arrange their children go to learn piano.改正： Many parents send their children to piano classes.25. When I want to absorb somebody else's opinion， I will study with others.改正： When I need second opinion， I will study with others.26. Eating outside has the most advantage that we can go at any time when we finish eating without doing any washing.改正：The best part of eating out is that we can leave everything behind after meal.27. Smoking can help you relax your mind.改正： Cigarettes can help you relax.28. What's about nonsmokers？改正： What about nonsmokers？29. Why not to be a non-smoker？改正： Why not be a non-smoker？30. Everyone will have many friends in his life.改正： Everyone has friends in his life.31. I am not good at maths， but English改正：I am good not at mathematics but at English/ Mystrength is not mathematics but English.32. Who is the proper person to make up his minds about children's leisure time？改正：Who is the proper person to plan children's leisure time？33.It is children who clear about their interests.改正： It is children who are clear about their own interests.34. I agree the latter idea.改正： I agree with the latter idea.35. Many people dissatisfy with the status quo.改正： Many people are dissatisfied with the status quo.36. So I feel breathe more comfortably now.改正： So I feel more comfortable now when I breathe.37. People should learn knowledge no matter how old they are.改正：People should learn no matter how old they are/ People are never too old to learn.38. No one knows all the things.改正： No one knows everything.39. I want to live in a quiet place to admire peaceful life.改正： I want to live in a quiet place to enjoy peaceful life.40. Each form ofshavingsfriends has its advantages.改正： Each way of choosing friends has its advantages.41. I was admitted to a key university for which few dared to sign up.改正： I was admitted to a key university to which few dared to apply.42. Luckily， he recognized an American professor.改正： Luckily， he knew an American professor.43. They will learn the bad habits.改正： They will develop bad habits.44. In this continued process， people make progress.改正： In this cycle， people make progress.45. Lastly， higher education is equal to higher salary.改正： Lastly， higher education means higher salary.46. By making friends who are different from ourselves， we can make up for deficiency.改正： By making friends who are different from ourselves，we can make up for our shortcomings.47. A wrong decision will bring even worse fact.改正： A wrong decision will bring even worse result.48. You spend all your life to fulfill your willing.改正：You devote all your life to the fulfillment of your dream.49. Children should be taught disciplines insgroupsto avoid unnecessary lost.改正：Children should be taught discipline insgroupsto avoid unnecessary loss.50. I felt alone.改正： I felt lonely.。