儿童英文笑话

Tell a lie

Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."

Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."

Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

妈妈：―你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？‖

维克多：―我要那只最大的。‖

妈妈：―维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。‖

维克多：―妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？‖

I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论

Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

It's round, answered Gerald.

How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it! 杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？

是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。

你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。

好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。

Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Three Turtles 三只乌龟

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

"We won't," the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，―回家去取伞吧。‖

最小的乌龟说，―如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。‖

―我们不喝，‖另外两只乌龟答应说。

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，―好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。‖

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，―你们要是喝了，我就不去。‖

Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？

汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。

父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？

汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

But the teacher cried 可是老师哭了

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？

哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。