“外研社杯”全国英语写作大赛江西师范大学初赛评分标准及样题

“外研社杯”全国英语写作大赛江西师范大学初赛
评分标准及样题
议论文：
比赛内容：选手完成1篇议论文写作（字数为400-500）。

考查选手的判断分析、逻辑思辨、评价论述等能力，展示选手的知识广度、视野维度、思想
深度等综合素质。

议论文1：
Given the importance of human creativity, one would think it should have a high priority among our concerns. But if we look at the reality, we see a different picture. Basic scientific research is minimized in favor of immediate practical applications. The arts are increasingly seen as dispensable luxuries. Yet as competition heats up around the globe, exactly the opposite strategy is needed.
Adapted from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention
Assignment：
Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
范文
In a world where economic prosperity and “getting ahead”in work and technology are highly valued, creativity and the arts are often shunted in favor of more “practical”pursuits. Students abandon dreams of acting or painting in order to major in medicine, computer technology, or engineering: highly profitable and scientific fields. Even with the advances in these fields, however, there is still a need for creativity in our world, because seeing things in a new way can make all the difference.
Today, more and more public schools are forced to abandon their arts programs to make time for subjects like science and math: subjects in which all students must have a basic knowledge in order to succeed in higher education. However, by leaving these programs behind, children are deprived of the creative stimulation that the arts provide, and are taught to view the world in “black and white”terms: one right answer to every problem. With a view such as this, how will children perform in the future? It may be assumed that all
people will see things the same way, and propose only one solution to a problem, failing to see the bigger picture.
Creativity has obviously influenced earlier generations in a positive way, so there is no need to eliminate creativity from our world. What would have happened if Franklin Roosevelt had never proposed his New Deal? The Great Depression might have persisted for some time, robbing even more families of their chance at prosperity and happiness. However, by proposing a new, creative solution for the problem of the U.S.’s depression, FDR pulled the nation out of its slump. Another example of how creativity has positively influenced the world happened just recently, with the introduction of hybrid cars. These new cars do not rely on as much oil as other cars do in order to operate, using alternative energy sources instead. Without the creative minds behind the invention of these cars, the world would rely so much on its limited oil reserves that fuel would eventually run out. Because of creativity, the world has a chance to find other energy sources.
Though these practical applications for creativity are conducive to everyone, the common man benefits even more from the stimulation that the arts provide. In a world dominated by political powers and torn apart by war, entertainers in the arts can inspire hope and change in everyone. A child watching a Charlie Chaplin film might decide to join the gymnastics team, or a woman observing a Monet painting in a museum might become an elementary school art teacher: who knows? The arts can transport people to other places,
into different ways of thinking.
The importance of creativity in the world today is enormous, for it has both pragmatic and “important”applications. Creativity is both a source for inspiration and a problem-solving method, and without it, our world would greatly suffer.
范文满分点评
This essay effectively and insightfully develops the point of view that creativity "is both a source for inspiration and a problem-solving method, and without it, our world would greatly suffer." The writer uses outstanding critical thinking and clearly appropriate evidence to show that creativity's benefits are both practical (the New Deal, hybrid cars) and intangible (students inspired by the arts). Well organized and focused, the essay shows clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas ("Without the creative minds behind the invention of these cars, the world would rely so much on its limited oil reserves that fuel would eventually run out. Because of creativity, the world has a chance to find other energy sources. Though these practical applications for creativity are conducive to everyone, the common man benefits even more from the stimulation that the arts provide"). It also consistently displays skillful use of language and meaningful variety in sentence structure ("However, by leaving these programs behind, children are deprived of the creative stimulation that the arts provide, and are taught to view the world in "black and white" terms: one right answer to every problem. With a view such as this, how will children
perform in the future?").
议论文2.
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below
"Tough challenges reveal our strengths and weaknesses." This statement is certainly true; adversity helps us discover who we are. Hardships can often lead us to examine who we are and to question what is important in life, In fact, people who have experienced seriously adverse events frequently report that they were positively changed by their negative experiences.
Assignment:
Do you think that ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
范文
Everyone goes through their lives seeing and experiencing different things. At times, these different situations may cause one to act differently than another would in the same situation. It can be readily stated that “Ease does not challenge us; adversity helps us discover who we are.”Through literature, one can see how this statement proves to be true.
In the play, “The Enemy of the People”, by Henrik Ibsen, the protagonist,
Dr. Stockholm, faced adversity, and through that, was able to discover his true beliefs and who he was. Before Dr. Stockholm was put in a situation where he had to face adversity, he had lived his life with mild ease and regularity. He acted just like everyone else in the town he lived in. Years later, he discovered that the popular bath houses were infected with bacteria. Determined to spread his findings, Dr. Stockholm went to the newspaper and the local governing office to try and make his discovery known. However, both the paper and the government weren’t as inspired to really let the public know about this serious problem due to the popularity of the bath houses. As a result, Dr. Stockholm was forced to face adversity and find a way to achieve his previously set goal. Through adversity, Stockholm was able to truly see how his personality was. He was able to understand his severe discontent with the government and society as a whole. In essence, Stockholm was able to discover his actual self. This, however, only happened when he was faced with a challenge.
The book, “Where the Heart is”by Billie Letts also used adversity to portray its character’s true being. The protagonist, Novalee Nation, was placed in a situation where she had to realize and conquer adversity. Novalee was a young girl of 17, who was pregnant. She had experienced extreme hardship her whole life in the trailer park environment that she had previously resided in. She also received lots of abuse from her boyfriend who impregnated her. In the story, he had left her stranded in a K-Mart all by herself, while she was
pregnant. All alone, Novalle had to find a way to keep herself and her baby alive. Along the way, through adversity, Novalle found her true, kind self. She also made countless discoveries through meeting different people. Among those things was her true love for photography and literature, and most of all her yearning for love in her life.
In the face of adversity, we all act differently. We each have different ideas and methods that we are accustomed to use for different situations. By acting and making decisions on our own, as we are often times forced to do when given a challenge; we are able to find out who we truly are and what we truly believe in. The characters Dr. Stockholm and Novalee Nation are examples of that kind of people in literature. However, in literature and life, it is all the same. Ease does not challenge us; adversity helps us discover who we are.
得分点详解
1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position
围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点，运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点，从而展示出色的思辨能力。

针对命题“你是否认为安逸不会考验我们，我们需要逆境来帮助我们发现自我？”，本文表示同意“安逸不会考验我们，逆境才能帮助我们发现自我”( A hero is one who is willing to give up his position in society in order to tell people what he believes is right.)。

为了支持论点，作者以两位文学作品的主人公——《人民
公敌》(“The Enemy of the People”)中的斯多克芒医生(Dr. Stockholm)和《甜心伊人》(“Where the Heart is”)中的诺瓦利·内辛(Novalee Nation)为例，展示了他们是如何在逆境中发现自我的。

在分析事例时，作者对“发现自我”的抽象概念赋予了具体含义：对于斯多克芒医生，“发现自我”是指“看清了自己对政府和社会的严重不满”（He was able to understand his severe discontent with the government and society as a whole.），而对于诺瓦利，“发现自我”则是指发现她“对摄影和文学的真正爱好”，以及更重要的，她“对于爱的渴望”(Among those things was her true love for photography and literature, and most of all her yearning for love in her life.)。

这种化抽象为具体的写作方法使事例显得更丰满，更深刻，更有说服力。

此外，作者在斯多克芒医生的例子中写到：“在斯多克芒医生不得不面对逆境之前，他过着轻松安逸有规律的生活，行为举止正如镇上的其他人一样。

”（Before Dr. Stockholm was put in a situation where he had to face adversity, he had lived his life with mild ease and regularity. He acted just like everyone else in the town he lived in. ）以呼应命题的另一观点“安逸不能考验我们”，展现了思维的全面性。

最后作者进一步深化，指出逆境为什么能帮助我们认识自我：“面对逆境时，我们的做法各不相同。

对于不同情况，每个人都有自己习惯运用的不同的观念和方法。

当面对挑战时，我们不得不独立行动并做出决定；由此，我们才能发现自己的真性格和真信仰。

”(In the face of adversity, we all act differently. We each have different ideas and methods that we are accustomed to use for different situations. By acting and making decisions on our own, as we are often times forced to do when given a challenge; we are able to find out who we truly are and what we truly believe in.) 并指出这个道理
无论在文学还是在生活中都是同样成立的，辩护了运用文学作品做事例的合理性。

整篇文章事例贴切，分析深刻，展现了出色的思辨能力。

2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas
结构合理，中心明确，思路连贯，衔接自然。

文章采用总-分-总的结构，首段提出论点，中间段用事例证明论点，末段总结事例并深化论点。

在叙述事例的时候，作者主要采用时间顺序，始终围绕“逆境-发现”的主线，综合运用表示时间(“Before...Years later,...”)、转折(However)、结果(As a result)、程度(most of all)等的衔接词，代词（and through that），过渡句(The book, “Where the Heart is”by Billie Letts also used adversity to portray it’s character’s true being.) 等过渡方式，全文紧扣论点，不枝不蔓，起承转合十分得体。

3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary
显示运用语言的技巧，词汇丰富、准确、恰当
4 demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure
运用多种句子结构
5 is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少
本篇范文用词准确，形象。

如第二段的“he had lived his life with mild ease and regularity”, “mild”指“温柔的”，又指“（味道）不浓的，淡的”，用“mild”修饰
“ease”, 使安逸也有了触觉和味觉，似乎还暗含“过于平淡”之意，令人遐想；注意第三段提到使诺瓦利怀孕的男友时用了“impregnate”一词，是“使怀孕”的意思。

同学们往往很熟悉“pregnant”这样的形容词，却对由形容词加前缀构成的表示“使，让”等的动词不甚了解；类似的词还有“enrage”(使愤怒), “embitter”（使痛苦）“endanger”（使遭到危险）等等。

同样是第三段，“he had left her stranded in a K-Mart”，“stranded”本意是“搁浅”的意思，用来描写诺瓦利德困境，非常形象。

作者对各种句式的运用也很熟练。

开头第一句“Everyone goes through their lives seeing and experiencing different things.”用现在分词做状语；而第二段的第一句“In the play, ‘The Enemy of the People’, by Henrik Ibsen, the protagonist, Dr. Stockholm, faced adversity, and through that, was able to discover his true beliefs and who he was.”既运用了同位语（“play”和“The Enemy of the People”, “the protagonist”和“Dr. Stockholm”）又运用了插入语（by Henrik Ibsen）。

紧接着，“Before Dr. Stockholm was put in a situation where he had to face adversity, he had lived his life with mild ease and regularity.”是个多重复合句。

全文长短句结合，参差有序。