英语笑话__带翻译
简短英语笑话带翻译大全
简短英语笑话带翻译大全英语要是不好，真的连笑话都看不懂哦!1. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.程序猿的老婆告诉他：“你去商店给老娘买一条面包。
如果他们有鸡蛋，你就带1打回来。
”结果，程序猿回家的时候，带了12条长面包。
Hint：程序猿都清楚IF语句。
如果条件成立，那么怎么怎么样。
商店里面一定有鸡蛋哈哈哈。
2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.“You’re late!” she yells. “You said you’d be home by 11:45!”“Actually,” the mathematician replies coolly, “I said I’d be home by a quarter of 12.”一个数学家在晚上3点时徘徊着回家，结果被老婆骂了一顿。
“你特么怎么这么晚!”她大喊道：“你说你会11点45分前回来的!”“事实上……”这位数学家蛋定地回复到：“我说的是在‘12的四分之一’也就是3点回来”Hint：a quarter是四分之一的意思，目测数学家今晚要跪搓衣板。
3. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.你听说过诵读困难者，不可知论失眠症患者吗?哦知道，他整完不睡觉都在想世界上到底有没有“狗”的存在。
英语笑话带翻译简短的
英语笑话带翻译简短的1. Why don't scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!科学家为什么不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！2. Why did the chicken go to the seance?To talk to the other side!为什么鸡要去参加降灵会？为了和另一边的人交谈！3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear!你怎么称呼一只没有牙齿的熊？软糖熊！4. How do you organize a space party?You "planet"!你怎样组织太空派对？你"计划"一下！5. What do you call fake spaghetti?An impasta!你会怎样称呼假的意大利面？冒牌意面！6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!为什么稻草人会成为一位成功的政治家？因为他在自己的领域很出色！7. How do you make a tissue dance?You put a little boogie in it!你怎样让纸巾跳舞？你给它加点音乐！8. What did one wall say to the other wall?I'll meet you at the corner!一面墙对另一面墙说了什么？我将在拐角处与你相会！9. Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts!为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有勇气！10. How do you catch a squirrel?Climb a tree and act like a nut!你怎么捉住一只松鼠？爬上树然后表现得像颗坚果！以上是一些简短的英语笑话，希望能给您带来些许欢乐。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话四中，“home”既可以指家，也可以指“归宿”，所以员工中奖后“去家里了”也可以理解为“找到了自己的归宿”。这个笑话利用了“home”这个词的双重含义，变相映射了中奖后员工的行为。
Because it had too many problems.
为什么数o you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
你怎么称呼一个没有牙齿的熊？
果冻熊。
笑话四：What did the employee do after winning the lottery?
笑话五中，“held up”一词既可以指阻碍、延误，也可以指抢劫。所以这个笑话的双关在于通过皮带的“支撑”和“阻碍”之间的联系，制造了一种幽默效果。
总结来说，这几个笑话利用了英语的语言特点，通过双关的方式，让人在听到笑话的瞬间产生一种意想不到的幽默感。这也正是英语笑话的魅力所在，通过语言的巧妙运用，创造出了一种诙谐的氛围，让人忍俊不禁。希望大家在学习英语的同时，多多接触英语笑话，感受英语语言的魅力。
英语小笑话 带翻译
笑话一：Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
老师：你爸爸有没有帮你做功课？
学生：没有，是他自己全部做的。
笑话二：Why was the math book sad?
笑话一中，学生回答“他自己全部做的”是指他的父亲没有帮助他，但也可以理解为“他”指的是学生的父亲，他自己做了所有的功课。这是一个双关的笑话，利用了英语中的语言特点，呈现了一种幽默的效果。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译-CAL-FENGHAI.-(YICAI)-Company One1短篇英语笑话10则带翻译①Goldfish金鱼②Stan: I won 92 goldfish.③Fred: Where are you going to keep them?④Stan: In the bathroom 。
⑤Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?⑥Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛） them!⑦=============================================================== ====⑧斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
⑨弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？⑩斯丹：浴室。
⑪弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？⑫斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！⑬⑭② The Revenge 欺骗的代价⑮Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why"⑯ Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"⑰=============================================================== ====⑱老农约翰逊就要死了。
英语笑话12篇带翻译总有你喜欢的
英语笑话12篇带翻译总有你喜欢的下面是店铺整理的一些关于suggest的错误用法分析，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话：没想到那么贵A shoplifter |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。
“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。
小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。
”英语笑话：为什么不呼救Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢?男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙，那就更糟了。
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你
英语笑话带翻译总有一个笑死你英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，或是产生幽默感，笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术方法。
下面是店铺整理的英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!英语笑话一：How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。
孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧，”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”英语笑话二：sells the candyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested inthe old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的
英语爆笑笑话5篇带翻译超搞笑的下面是店铺整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇，欢迎大家阅读!英语爆笑笑话一：Hospitality好客The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-piewithout any cheese.由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。
The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returnedwith a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You musthave better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?"客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪?”"In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.“在捕鼠夹上，先生。
”那小男孩说。
英语爆笑笑话二：太黑了，看不见After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?”过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译
英语笑话大全爆笑带翻译笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。
店铺整理了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，he told me to give up my seat to a lady."他叫我让座给一位女士。
”"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。
”"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。
”爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，He is well-groomed and very well behaved.它很干净很有教养，Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years.旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。
英语笑话带翻译范文
英语笑话带翻译范文1. Joke: Why did the scarecrow win an award?Answer: Because he was outstanding in his field!Translation: 为什么稻草人获得了奖项？因为他在他的领域表现出色！2. Joke: Why don't skeletons fight each other?Answer: They don't have the guts!Translation: 为什么骷髅不互相打架？因为它们没有胆量！3. Joke: How does a penguin build its house?Answer: Igloos it together!Translation: 企鹅是如何建造它的房子的？用冰块把它粘在一起！4. Joke: What do you call a bear with no teeth?Answer: A gummy bear!Translation: 没有牙齿的熊叫什么？果冻熊！5. Joke: Why don't eggs tell jokes?Answer: Because they might crack up!Translation: 为什么鸡蛋不讲笑话？因为它们可能会笑破肚皮！6. Joke: How do you organize a space party?Answer: You planet!Translation: 你如何组织太空派对？你把星球放在那儿！7. Joke: Why don't scientists trust atoms?Answer: Because they make up everything!Translation: 为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切！8. Joke: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? Answer: An abdominal snowman!Translation: 一个有六块腹肌的雪人叫什么？腹肌雪人！9. Joke: What did one wall say to the other wall?Answer: I'll meet you at the corner!Translation: 一个墙对另一个墙说了什么？我们在角落见！10. Joke: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?Answer: Because then they would be bagels!Translation: 海鸥为什么不飞过海湾？因为那样它们就成了贝果！11. Joke: What do you call a bear without any ears? Answer: B!Translation: 没有耳朵的熊叫什么？B！12. Joke: What did zero say to eight?Answer: Nice belt!Translation: 零对八说了什么？漂亮的腰带！13. Joke: How do you make a tissue dance?Answer: You put a little boogie in it!Translation: 如何让纸巾跳舞？装点点动作！14. Joke: Why was the math book sad?Answer: Because it had too many problems!Translation: 数学书为什么伤心？因为它有太多问题！Answer: It left its Windows open!Translation: 电脑为什么冷？因为它忘记关掉窗口！这些英语笑话可以为大家带来一些轻松愉快的时刻。
好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全
20XX年好笑的英语笑话带翻译大全冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。
本文是好笑的英语笑话带翻译，希望对大家有帮助!好笑的英语笑话带翻译篇一聪明的鹦鹉A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with ared string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Heasks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot.If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German,"replies the shop keeper."And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires."I fall off my perch you fool!!" screeches the parrot.1/ 5[译文]有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。
在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。
对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。
如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。
”这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译
关于英语的幽默笑话大全带翻译1.一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”2.话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM后羿！」B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。
就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」3.某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry.老外应道：I am sorry too.某人听后又道：I am sorry three.老外不解，问：What are you sorry for?某人无奈，道：I am sorry five.4.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”。
英语小笑话带翻译
英语小笑话带翻译英语小笑话带翻译（精选12篇）笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。
下面是店铺为大家整理的关于英语的小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家的阅读。
英语小笑话带翻译篇1He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。
干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。
英语小笑话带翻译篇2Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
带翻译的英语笑话
带翻译的英语笑话笑话一：Coffee OrderA man walks into a coffee shop and says to the barista, "Can I have a coffee, but please make it very strong?"The barista nods and replies, "Sure, I can make it strong. How many coffee beans would you like me to use?"The man thinks for a moment and says, "Well, how about you just wave the coffee beans over the cup and I'll drink the air?"【翻译】一个男人走进咖啡店对咖啡师说：“我可以要一杯咖啡，但是请做得很浓吗？”咖啡师点点头回答：“当然，我可以做得很浓。
你希望我使用多少颗咖啡豆？”男人想了一会儿说：“嗯，你可以只是在杯子上面晃一下咖啡豆，然后我就喝空气好了。
”笑话二：Lost WalletA man walks into a police station and says, "Excuse me, I've lost my wallet."The police officer asks, "Okay, can you give me a description of your wallet?"The man replies, "Yes, it's black, rectangular, and it has my face on it."【翻译】一个男人走进警察局说：“对不起，我丢失了我的钱包。
有趣的英语笑话及翻译
有趣的英语笑话及翻译冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。
下面是店铺带来的有趣的英语笑话及翻译，欢迎阅读!有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇一A Question 一个问题Professor: Before we begin the examination are there any question? Student: What's the name of this course?教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗? 学生：考试科目的名称是什么?有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇二I also have Bania blood in my bodyA rich Sardarji needed blood for his heart surgery. He got it from a poor short Bania. Sardarji gave him 5 million dollars.Once again the Sardar needed blood for surgery. Bania was more than happy to donatedblood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.富有的萨达尔需要血液来完成他的心脏手术，他从贫穷的巴尼亚那里得到了血液。
萨达尔给了他5000000美元作为报酬。
当萨达尔再次需要手术的时候，巴尼亚更是愿意捐献血液。
这个时候，萨达只是给了他一个巧克力。
巴尼亚问原因。
萨达尔：我身体现在也有巴尼亚的血液了。
有趣的英语笑话及翻译篇三Alexander the Great 亚历山大大帝Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation(背诵，朗诵) , and the doctor, somewhat nettled(刺激，惹恼) , said: Landon, you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition. Why, at your ageAlexander the Great had conquered half the world.Yes, said Landon, he couldn't help it, for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。
简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【导语】笑话⼀般指短⼩、滑稽的故事,是⼀种民间⼝头创作形式,在民间⽂化中以⼝⼝相传的形式传播。
以下是由整理了简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!【篇⼀】简短英语笑话带翻译 Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. ⽼师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是⼗分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
⽼师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成⼗分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇⼆】简短英语笑话带翻译 One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me." ⼀位学⽣对另⼀位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国⼈说话，可现在是英国⼈不懂我的话了。
” 简单的中英⽂对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么⾛ An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused. "Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?" The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!" 有个很健忘的⼈站在车⽔马龙的⼗字路⼝正中央，那⾥有个警察正忙着指挥交通，⽽他不断地去⼲扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚⽅向。
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全(带翻译)
英语小笑话,英语笑话大全（带翻译）/2016/0827/20160827100443271.jpg" width="450" alt="笑话" />英语小笑话【一】1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.翻译：鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。
小女孩回答道。
2、律师和胳膊、宝马A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!! , he whined.You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!翻译：一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
英语小笑话短文带翻译(3篇)
英语小笑话短文带翻译（3篇）小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻？”'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗？”'No.' replied the boy.小男孩回答道：“不知道。
”'I'm the head teacher's daughter'， replied the girl.小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。
”'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.小男孩（面不改色心里惊恐地）问：“那你知道我是谁吗？”'No,' she uttered.小女孩说：“不知道。
”'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.小男孩大大的松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。
”带翻译的英语小笑话篇二A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇
英语小笑话短文带翻译优秀6篇篇一：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇一A man goes to church and starts talking to God.He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny"，then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second"， than the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 。
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。
他问："主啊，一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士"，男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"，最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"。
篇二：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇二it's not my fault不是我的错mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
篇三：小学英语小笑话带翻译篇三when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。
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1、How much English can you speak?"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"中文翻译"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。
他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。
而且，他只会说几个英语单词。
" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"2A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.He said, "What?"丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。
研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。
妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。
他问："什么？"3Boy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。
4、"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the motherin the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?""Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.""汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。
"他在哭。
" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。
"我在吃我的蛋糕。
他哭是因为我不给他吃。
""他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。
" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。
"2009-6-7A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one ofthem?"The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!" 路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？"路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？"路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！"2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond 'Good afternoon.' But the graduate students just write it down."一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说："我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。
" "我说'下午好'的时候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。
"2009-6-5Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?Tom: Every month.爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2009-6-4making faces Finding one of her studentsmaking faces at others on theplayground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."史密斯小姐发现她的一名学生在操场上向别人做鬼脸，便去轻责他。
这位主日学校的老师甜甜地微笑着，说："博比，我小的时候，有人告诉我如果我做鬼脸，我的脸就会僵硬，永远都那么丑。
"博比抬头看了看老师，说："史密斯小姐，你可别说没人警告过你啊。
"2009-6-3A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。
当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都给吃光了。
他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说:"谢谢您的花生。
" 结果祖母说:"唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。
"2009-6-2A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?" "Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."一位父亲打算让自己的儿子知道酒精有多么可怕。
他把分别把两只虫子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做对比。
清水里虫子安然无恙，结果威士忌里的虫子蜷缩了几下就挂掉了。
"所以，儿子啊，"父亲问道，"得出什么结论？""恩，这说明，你只要喝酒的话，肚里就不会长虫了！"2009-6-1Looking very unhappy, a poorman entered a doctor'sconsulting-room. "Doctor," he said, "you must helpme. I swallowed a penny abouta month ago.""Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?""To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."中文翻译：一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。