英语搞笑短剧剧本

三打白骨精
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒
J：沙僧
B：白骨精（何平）B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头B3:Long long ago,in the acient age,there were three foolish man …..
T S E一起看着B3：em?
B3:eh,three brave person for the human’s peace went to the buddhist paradise.
B2:now,they are acrossing the pleace named……（望着B1）
B1:Don’t ask me ,I don’t know either 红色部分不要，换成英文的西游记片头曲
B2:OK,let’s begine!（放好汉歌~）
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until w e reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once ag ain,I will ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But bos s,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorr y,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
作抽泣状B1:Do you remember the girl who live in DaMing lake?My dear,xiaozangzang,it’s me 撕心肺裂
T：Oh,I just meet lady xia,and get her phone number.Maybe you’re not beautiful enough.SHIFT,i was the failer again.
B1:MY GOD.My heart is broken ,and you are so cruel！But i just like it.so men.
T:heihei,猥琐的笑
同时PPT放唐僧唱歌的样子“我伤害了你，我一笑而过。

你怀了我的孩子，我还骂你是骚货。

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……（望向唐，let us meet 20 years later...)
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Onc e more……only you~can take me que xijing~…(你懂得~)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, no one can see through twice!never!I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?。