作文讲评

三、 请他给你提几点建议 In addition , I want to learn about some information about how to choose a good school. I also want to know the traffic situation there 【means of transportation】 and where I can live during my stay there. Which school do you think is suitable for me? Where can I get a fine room【 apartment/ flat】?
III.参考范文：
Dear Mr. Wilson, How time flies! I will graduate from the senior middle school soon. I’ve decided to study abroad after graduation. （我的决定） The most important reason why I want to study abroad is that I can learn English better in an English-speaking country. What’s more, I can experience different cultures and widen my knowledge. 【好句型： it will make it possible for me to …../ it will allow me to .】。 Apart from that, it is a good chance for me to prepare for a career, and learn to be independent, which will benefit me greatly and promise me a bright future.
•优美语段赏析：
•说明留学原因： I am planning to study abroad to receive a better education which will enrich my experience . Besides, studying abroad will develop 【promote】 my ability to deal with matters on my own.
when it comes to the details of going abroad, I would appreciate it if you could give me some suggestions on how to choose a better school ,a good living place and a proper way to go out in England. I was wondering if you could give me some suggestions on which school to attend and where to live. And which means of transport do you think is more convenient? I would appreciate it if you could give me an early reply.
To broaden my horizons and build up my self-confidence , I want to go toEngland for further education.
•强化语言学习打算, 关键是具体的语言学习 方案。(how to study) To fit in with the English-speaking atmosphere, first, I will carefully go over 【 review】 all that I have learned at school, making sure that I can put them into use. Meanwhile , I will download some English songs and movies from the Internet to improve my listening ability and spoken English.
作文讲评材料
作文要求： 假定你是李华，想在高中毕业后到英国留学，请你给外教 Mr. Wilson 发一封邮件，内容如下： 1. 说明留学的原因；
【 要点拓展必须至少两点 】
2.告知出国前强化语言的打算； 【 只有打算不行，得有详细措施、方法; 有这种打算的 原因或目的或益处】 3.请他给你提几点建议（如：择校，住宿，交通等）。 【先说自己的困难再请求】
1. 语言流畅，有交际性，真实沟通，要 点拓展得当 2. 段落清晰，每段段首尽量有个总起句 3. 避免同一句式重复使用，用不同词汇 、句式表达同一概念、内容方显英雄 本色。 4. 避免用低级词汇，可用词组、高级词 汇替代。
Dear Mr. Wilson, How time flies! I will graduate from the senior middle school soon. I want to continue with my study in London ,which my parents have agreed on. I like foreign culture very much and I want to have a good knowledge of it during my stay there.
My listening ability needs improving. I’ve planned to listen to the New Concept English, VOA, BBC news, and enjoy English films. I’ll read as much on British literature and history as possible.（强化语言的打算） Which university do you recommend me to study in? Need I live in a home-stay family or a rented room or a dormitory? I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice. （需要几点建议）
I decide to read more English articles or magazines so that I can know more about the customs about British people. 【， in which case I will have little trouble adapting to the local life quickly】
Allowing for 【considering/ given 】 the fact that England has an advantage in technology and teaching resources, I decide to go abroad for further education. I am keen on 【 crazy about / enthusiastic about / fond of 】 British culture, so it may be a good choice for me to study in England after graduation. In addition, the beautiful scenery there also appeals to me.
Now that I have decided to study abroad, I would like to practice my spoken English before I set off for London, so I will attend an evening class for English and speak English as much as possible.
First ,I plan to read English loudly 【aloud 】 every morning so as to improve my spoken Enቤተ መጻሕፍቲ ባይዱlish . Second, I am supposed to turn to my English teacher for advice. Lastly, I will practice listening and speaking in order to communicate with native speakers freely.
一档优秀作文标准: 写作小技巧： 1. 内容全面，语言流畅，语法错误较少，书写规 范； 2. 词汇选用高级但不要生僻，平日多记固定搭配 ； 3. 适当运用复杂句式（如：定语从句，分词作状 语等），避免弄巧成拙； 4. 巧用衔接词，使文章紧凑，有层次感； 5. 过渡句式使文章锦上添花，如： reasons are as follows. Could you do me a favor?
Now that I have decided to study abroad, it’s a must for me to practice my spoken English before I set off for London, so I will / intend / mean /plan to attend an evening class for English and speak English as often as possible, in which case I will fit in there sooner.
只一个原因—原因拓展太少
汇报工作式的，缺少点交际性
How time flies! I will graduate from the senior middle school soon. I’m determined to continue with my study in London , which my parents have agreed on. As you know, I am crazy about/ enthusastic about foreign culture . I’m sure that I will have a good knowledge of it during my stay there.
I sincerely hope you can give me some advice. After all, London is your hometown and you are very familiar with it. I have picked out several schools that I am interested in, but I don’t know which school to go to. Could you give me some advice? If you can include its accommodation and transportation, it couldn’t be better. I am looking forward to hearing from you!