李开复写给女儿的信Letterto+Daughter

Letter to Daughter

Oct. 9, 2009 Dear Daughter,

As we drove off from Columbia, I decided to write you a letter to tell you all that is on my mind. First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Admission to Columbia is a real testament to your academic, artistic and social abilities. Whether it was getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in the Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.

I will always remember the first time I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation in my heart tha t must have been our “father-daughter connection” which will bind us for life. I remember singing you a lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. You have been a wonderful daughter ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. I remember my daughter of three following us around every weekend to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily eating hamburgers in the car and singing with Barney until you fell asleep. You even went to Sunday Chinese school and studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.

You have been an excellent elder sister. Sometimes the two of you argued, but in the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister adores you and looks up to you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she will miss you so much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can always confide in. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will care for each other throughout your lives. While you are at college, do have a short video chat with her or email her every few days.

College will be the most important years in your life. You often question “what good is this course”.While you should remain inquisitive, always remember that “education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten”.In college you will move from being teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become a self-directed learner. Please take each subject seriously, for even

if what you learn isn’t critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.

Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember your high school debate class, when I told you to argue the side that you did n’t believe in I did that to show you things are rar ely “black and white”, and a problem can always be looked at from different perspectives. This is “critical thinking”, and it is the most important skill you need in life. You must also become tolerant and supportive of others. I remember when I proposed a new dissertation topic to my . advisor. He said “I don’t fully agree with you, but I’ll support you.”I have come to learn this isn’t just flexibility but is supportive of critical thinking. This is an empowering style of leadership that I try to follow. I hope you will too.

Follow your passion in college and take courses you will enjoy. Steve Jobs said when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great commencement speech at Stanford, Jobs spoke of his calligraphy class, and how a decade later it became the basis for the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing and brought fabulous tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. Do not worry excessively what career you will have, and don’t be too utilitarian. If you like Japanese, go for it, even if your dad thinks “it’s not useful.” Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a gorgeous curve through the dots.

Exert yourself in classe s, but don’t let pressure upset you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and educate yourself in your four years, we will feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don’t graduate with honors.The only thing that matters is that you have learned and the only metric you should use is that you have tried. Grades are just silly letters that vain people brag about, and lazy people dread. You are too good to be either.

Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends will be the best in your life because they are not only physically closer than your family but the bonds will be strong as you gain independence and enter adulthood together. Choose friends who are genuine and sincere to you. Don’t worry about their hobbies or even their personalities. Be self-assured, outgoing and proactive. Keep your high school friends and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship. You have chosen wonderful friends from high school, so trust your instincts. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t stereotype and always