改词扩句
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→改词扩句
——不改变原句的意思,仅通过词汇、语法手段使句子看起来更高级、地道。
下面请看例子:
例1
Others think that the utilization of waste products will be eliminate d sooner or later with the emergence of hi-te . However, I did not consider that factor carefully. Because I hold the view that waste materials can be made good use of to help reduce the living cost.
原句:I did not consider that factor carefully.
改句:I fail to take that factor into careful consideration.
【解析】
在这个简单句中,主要做了两个改变,一是把"did not"改成"fail to", 同样的意思,可是词汇应用的灵活度却大大提高。
二是把"consi der…carefully"改成了"take sth into careful consideration",在考场作文中,词组的运用是个亮点,而且英语中静态居多(名词用的多),汉语中动态居多(动词用的多),在此把动词"consider"变成名词"consideration",顿时使英文更加地道。
例2
原句:
You are enthusiastic and enterprising. And you are one of the most talented and diligent in our department. You have already won 2 awards for good academic results.
改句:
You, enthusiastic and enterprising,are one of the most talented and diligent in our department,already winning 2 awards for outstanding academic results.
【解析】
我们可以看到例句中有3个简单句,咋看上去给人一种啰嗦、累赘的感觉。
但细看之下,不难发现3个句子的主语全部是you,因此我们就该联想到同位语、插入语的应用。
从改句中,我们可以发现谓语从原来的3个变成了1个,顿时使句子显得高级,精简很多。
其次,还有一个改动之处为"good",这个词是常用词,口语中用的更频繁些,我们可以想一些同义词例如"excellent","outstanding"等等。
例3
原句:
In order to live a good life, it is becoming more and more important for people to learn knowledge well. Because in this modern world, knowledge is everything.
改句:
In order to live a happy(wonderful) life, it is becoming increasingly important for people to acquire knowledge well, for the reason that knowledge is everything in this modern world.
【解析】
首先我们看到原句中出现了more and more,在四六级作文中,它可算是常客,对阅卷老师而言,不具任何吸引力,而且有落入俗套的危险哦,所以在我们把它用一个简单的副词来替代,副词修饰形容词,相信会令人感觉眼前一亮。
其次,我们还要注意一个搭配问题,原句中的learn knowledge是明显的中式英语,很多同学会误用,正确的搭配应该是acquire knowledge。
最后,我们有余力可以把句子通过从句进行相连,使句子看起来更有结构感。
→改词扩句
——不改变原句的意思,仅通过词汇、语法手段使句子看起来更高级、地道。
下面请看例子:
例4
原句:
She is better than other rival s in athletic ability.
改句:
She dwarf s all her rivals in athletic ability.
【解析】
首先原句的句意为“她在运动方面比对手优秀。
”,观察句子后,我们可以看出,句子中存在一个比较级,比较级是作文中常用的,所以大家应尽量避免多用,从而使自己的作文与众不同。
“dwarf”是一个非常好用的词,作动词时,本意为“使矮小”,在此,可意译为“使相形见绌”,与“be better than”想表达的意思一致。
但是,很明显,“dwarf”是这个普通句子的亮点,也就是整个句子的加分点。
例5
原句:
Although the development of science and technology has brought the process to mankind, our surrounding natural environment is greatly destroyed.
改句:
The development of science and technology has brought the process to mankind while our surrounding natural environment is greatly destroyed.
【解析】
原句是一句典型的转折句,在四六级作文中,"although"和"though“的应用相当广泛,那么如何使自己与众不同呢,在此,我为大家推荐一个连词”while“,这个单词有很多意思,但在改句中,它的意思是”虽然、尽管“,在考场上用的人相对比较少,所以以后在作文中,如果出现了转折、对比之类的关系句,记住要想到”while“哦!
例6
原句:
It is very important for the public to acquire knowledge on Sinology. Because it stands for Chinese civilization with more than 5000 years and promoting Sinology can help to build a harmonious society.
改句:
It is of vital significance for the public to acquire knowledge on Sinology. For one thing, it is the essence of Chinese civilization with more than 5000 years. For another, the promotion of Sinology can contribute to a harmonious society.
【解析】
咋看原句,基本上没什么可以改的地方,但是仔细观察,我们不难发现原句中的“very important”是英语四六级作文中常用的词,所以我们需要想办法使其看起来不那么普通,我想的办法就是把它转换成“of+名词”的短语,这个名词可以是“importance”,也可以是其同义词“significance”。
然后,我们又发现because后面跟的是两个原因,为了让结构更清晰,我们可以用for one thing,for another来分开它们,这样更有层次。
最后,以前某一期提过,就是英语喜欢用名词,汉语喜欢用动词,所以我们可以把“promoting”改成“promotion”,“stands for”转换成“essence”,再把“help to”提升一下,改成“contribute to”,是不是感觉句子质量一下子就提高了不少呢?
→改词扩句
——不改变原句的意思,仅通过词汇、语法手段使句子看起来更高级、地道。
下面请看例子:
例7
原句:
In a developing country such as China, our investment in culture, education and science, and especially elementary education, must be thought of firstly. It is important for China to catch up with the developed nations in today's surging waves of technological revolution.
改句:
In a developing country such as China, our investment in culture, education and science, and especially elementary education, must enjoy top priority. It is crucial for China to catch up with the developed nations in today's surging waves of technological revolution.
【解析】
原句其实也是一个比较好的句子,但是细细观察后,我们依旧可以发现提高之处,“be thought of firstly”是要表示“首先要考虑到”,词汇相对简单,所以我们可以想一个高级点的词组。
我想到的是“priority”这个单词,它的意思是“优先权”,常常和“top”搭配在一起。
至于动词“enjoy”,在这里解释为“享有”。
“important”为常用词,所以我把其换成了“crucial”。
例8
原句:
Some people violate traffic regulations and they should be punished in some ways. For example, they must pay some money.
改句:
Those who violate traffic regulations shoud be punished in some ways. For instance, they are required to pay the fine.
【解析】
原句中我们可以看到第一句话是由两个简单句合成的,主语一致,因此我们想办法把and 去掉,合并成一句话,我建议可以用限定性定语从句来达到这个目的,具体句型是"Those who···verb···."。
其次,for example可以用for instance代替,两者是同义关系,但前者用的比较多,我们取少用一些的。
最后还有一个"罚钱"的固定搭配,那就是改句中呈现的"pay the fine"。
例9
原句:
In recent years, such majors as international finance, finance and accountancy, international trade have become more and more popular.
改句:
Recent years have witnessed an increase in the popularity of such majors as international finance, finance and accountancy, international trade.
【解析】
先仔细观察原句,发现原句中存在一个more and more的比较级,还发现原句中的头比尾重很多,在地道的英语中,句子的头应该比尾轻,比如这个常见句型“It is important to do sth”。
所以,我们就这两点进行修改,我的建议是用“witness”这个动词,它作动词时,意思是“见证”,用在这里,化解了原句中的头重尾轻,同时也用一个很简单的单词“increase"来代替掉用的相当频繁的"more and more"。
→改词扩句
——不改变原句的意思,仅通过词汇、语法手段使句子看起来更高级、地道。
下面请看例子:
例10
原句:
They give us new information about the latest products. Some advertisements are very elegantly presented. And we are inspired or even moved by them. No matter it is an evil or an angel, advertisement has become an essential part of our modern life.
改句:
They provide us with up-to-date information about the latest products. Some advertisements are so elegantly presented that we are inspired or even moved. No matter it is an evil or an angel, advertisement has become an indispensable part of our modern life.
【解析】
原句中有"give"这个常用词,我们细想一下用一个比较高级的词组"provide sb. with sth."来替换它,同理,我们把"new"换成"up-to-date",把"essential"换成"indispensable"。
然后,再看原句中的连接词"and",我们可以发现And连接的前后句并不是并列关系,而是因果关系,所以我们可以用"so…that…"来连接两个句子。
例11
原句:
Unfortunately, it has also caused some problems never thought of. When we are faced with the dilemma, should we carry on the practice?
改句:
Unfortunately, it has also given rise to some unexpected problems. Confronted with the dilemma, should we carry on the practice?
【解析】
细看原句,我们首先在词上进行替换,“cause”比“give rise to”这个词组用的多,属于作文常用词汇,所以在考场上用“give rise to”是个亮点。
同理,“faced with”改成
“confronted with”,意思也是丝毫未变的。
然后,原句中使用了定语从句,当然这也是可以的,但是在这里改成"unexpected"更为简洁清楚。
最后,原句中“when”后面跟的主语和主句一致,所以我们可以直接去掉“when we are”。
例12
原句:
Although our country is rich, the qualities of our living are still not satisfactory. 改句:
Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by no means satisfactory. 【解析】
细看原句,我们很快可以锁定"although"这个常用词,我的改法是把形容词“rich”提到句首,改成倒装句,这个句型一般为“形容词+as+名词主语+谓语动词”,意思是“尽管······还······”。
其次,我们细细研究下原句,可以发现还有一个地方可以修改得更好,原句想表达的语气,即“很不令人满意”,没有完全用英语表达出来,所以,去掉“not”,改成“by no means”,表示“绝不满意”之意,这下是不是语气更加强烈了呢?
小编的话:其实想提高作文真的很简单,比起背那些模板作文,现成的好词佳句,为什么不每天积累一个好词,一个用法来从根本上提高呢?咱不求一下子速成,咱追求的应该是融会贯通!。