幽默英语短句二十句
精选经典英文搞笑句子
1、姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。
sister never copied, but did not say not copy.2、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！it's better to plant cactus instead of letting people lie down.3、哪里跌倒，哪里爬起。
老是在那里跌倒，我疑心那里有个坑！where to fall, where to climb. i always fall there. i suspect there's a pit there!4、我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺；我脾气很好，但不是没有！i have a small mind, but i don't lack it; i have a good temper, but not none!5、瞧你这长相，不用化装就能去演恐怖片了。
look at your appearance. you can make horror movies without makeup.6、你还是让我跪搓板吧，跪电暖气是在受不了啊。
you'd better let me kneel on the rubbing board. the kneeling heating can't stand it.7、老子不打你，你就不知道我文武双全。
if lao zi does not hit you, you will not know that i am both civil and military.8、天上不会掉馅饼，因为我们不相信。
there will be no pie in the sky, because we don't believeit.9、人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！the difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but sometimes people are not human beings.10、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
幽默的英语句子短语
幽默的英语句子短语1. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.4. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!5. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.6. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.7. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.8. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.9. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.10. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.11. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.12. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.13. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?14. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.15. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.16. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.17. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.18. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.19. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?20. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.21. I'm not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a placebo.22. I'm not a weatherman, but I can tell you that you're hot.23. I'm not a chef, but I can make your heart melt.24. I'm not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.25. I'm not a mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. How about you give me yours?26. I'm not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.。
英语搞笑句子大全
英语搞笑句子大全英语搞笑句子大全很多人觉得英语无趣，其实不然。
不信你看看这些搞笑的英语句子大全。
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
4. The wise never marry，and when they marry they bee otherwise..聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
5. Suess is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
6. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you canput off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
7. "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep.现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
8. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。
9. Hard work never killed any body.But why take the risk?努力工作不会导致死亡。
经典英文搞笑句子
经典英文搞笑句子导读：1、我只为人民币服务，谢谢。
I just for the service, thank you.2、我喜欢的人，都在硬盘里。
I like of the person, all in the hard disk.3、人又不聪明，还学人家秃顶！People don't clever, also learn bald!4、走自己的路，让别人打车去吧！Walk yourself's road, let others take a taxi.5、姐从来不抄袭，但没说不复制。
Elder sister never copied, but didn't say don't copy.6、傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。
Stupid and not dumb, should see you will be.7、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
From heaven to hell, elder brother just passing by.8、将薪比薪想一下，算了，不想活了。
Think about it than will pay salary, calculate, don't want to live.9、路漫漫其修远兮，不如我们去打的。
I see road, why don't we go to take a taxi.10、众里寻他千百度，没病你就走两步。
He found thousands of baidu, you take two steps have no disease.11、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！Grass don't let a person to lie, it is better to switch to a cactus!12、泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。
Pour out the water, Lao tze even basin all don't.13、如果这都不算爱，那我宁愿卖白菜。
精选幽默文案句子简短英文
精选幽默文案句子简短英文1. Better late than ugly.2. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged.3. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.4. I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome.5. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to Instagram my food for me.6. I'm not weird, I'm limited edition.7. If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.8. My brain has too many tabs open.9. Tripped over my dog in the living room. Told him he's fired from his job as a trip hazard.10. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything.11. Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.12. Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.13. Swipe left if you don't like corny jokes. I feel we have good chemist-tree.14. My fingers are long so I can reach the last Pringle in the can.15. The snack that smiles back: ME.16. Sorry, I can't talk right now. It's cuddle time.17. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks.18. I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me.19. Fun fact: I'm hilarious.20. Keep calm and avoid weirdos.。
经典幽默英语段子精选
经典幽默英语段子精选经典幽默英语段子精选1：1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。
2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。
3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。
4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。
5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。
6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。
7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。
8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。
9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。
10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。
幽默英语套路句子简短
幽默英语套路句子简短1. I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged. 我不是懒惰,我只是在动力上有些挑战。
2. My emails are like a sink full of dishes; I should really wash them soon. 我的邮箱就像个满是脏碗的水槽,我真应该抽时间把它们清理干净。
3. My brain decided to take a walk...and still hasn't returned. 我的大脑决定去散步了......至今没回来。
4. Don't annoy me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. 别惹我。
我都快没地方藏尸体了。
5. I don't trip. I do random gravity checks. 我没有跌倒,我只是在进行随机地心引力检查。
6. Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. 野营:你花重金过无家可归者的生活。
7. I'm not a mess; I'm creatively organized. 我并不凌乱,我只是创造性地组织着东西。
8. My life goal is to become so rich that I can hire someone to look me in the eye and tell me "no." 我的人生目标是变得非常有钱,能雇人直视我的眼睛告诉我“不”。
9. I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. 我不需要Google,我老婆什么都知道。
幽默英语短句二十句
幽默英语短句二十句1，Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2，Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。
3，Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on thevery edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4，Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 yearstelling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5，It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。
6，Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son,I’m still paying.”一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
滑稽经典幽默句子短句英语
滑稽经典幽默句子短句英语1. I thought I wanted a career, turns out, I just wanted a paycheck.2. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy saving mode.3. I'm not clumsy, I'm just coordinating my actions with gravity.4. Marriage is like a workshop, the husband works and the wife shops.5. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.6. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.7. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.8. I'm on a whiskey diet, I've lost three days already.9. The future is uncertain, but I can always rely on my bad luck.10. My house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.11. I don't need anger management, I just need people to stop annoying me.12. I'm not a doctor, but I can give you a placebo if it will make you feel better.13. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's pretty much the same thing.14. I'm not addicted to chocolate, we just have a mutually beneficial relationship.15. Sorry, I can't go to work tomorrow because I just can't find themotivation to pretend to be busy.16. My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just the comedy.17. I'm not fat, I'm just easy to see.18. If at first, you don't succeed, redefine success.19. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.20. I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective layer for my rock-hard abs.。
英文幽默句子
英文幽默句子关于英文幽默句子在学习、工作乃至生活中，大家最不陌生的就是句子了吧，句子是能够表达一个相对完整的意思，有一定的语调，表示不同的语气，句未有一个较大停顿的语言单位。
那些被广泛运用的句子都是什么样子的呢？下面是店铺收集整理的关于英文幽默句子，仅供参考，希望能够帮助到大家。
英文幽默句子篇11、humor, can saying is give people a subtle sense of dispensing the spice of life. For some light humor, can make the atmosphere of the time to change, make the stalled suddenly solve unsolved. - Masayoshi Ohira幽默：可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。
由于某种轻巧的幽默，就可以使当时的气氛为之改观，使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。
——日·大平正芳2、the sense of humour is a sense. Li, Ji Bolun幽默感就是分寸感。
——黎·纪泊伦3、the humor and wit is the flash of wisdom. -- Indira Shakespeare幽默和风趣是智慧的闪现。
——英·莎士比亚4、the humor comes from wisdom, verbal abuse from incompetence. - pine forest幽默来自智慧，恶语来自无能。
——松林5、humor is that workers have confidence in their own career and show the advantage of the signs of their own. -- Engels 幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。
搞笑英语句子精选
搞笑英语句子精选下面店铺为大家带来搞笑英语句子精选，欢迎大家阅读!搞笑英语句子精选11、放自己的屁，让别人闻去吧!put your fart， let others go to smell!2、我太纯洁了，我纯洁的都有些无耻了!i'm too pure， i pure are shameless!3、有奶不一定是娘，但有钱一定是爷!milk is not necessarily a mother， but money must be ye!4、中华人民共和国小卖部副部长!a store， vice minister of the people's republic of china!5、我来到这世界上，就从没打算活着回去过。
i came to this world， never to return alive。
6、师太，你等着，老衲去让佛祖赐婚!teacher， you wait， na to the buddha give marriage!7、大学是女生乳房发育的最佳时期。
university is the best time for girls breast development。
8、一时的冲动，子孙的危机!at that time the impulse， the crisis of children!9、此地禁止大小便，违者没收工具。
urine is prohibited here， offenders confiscated tools。
10、管不住的是儿子，看不住的是女儿。
control is son， see daughter is not。
11、有钱的时候喷香水，没钱的时候抹花露水。
rich of time，delicious water wipe toilet water have no money。
12、当裤子失去皮带，才懂得什麽叫做依赖。
when the pants belt lost，just know what is called a dependency。
搞笑的英语句子
搞笑的英语句子Are you ready for some laughter? Here are some funny English sentences that will surely bring a smile to your face. 。
1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.3. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.4. I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.5. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."6. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.7. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.8. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.9. I told my friend she should do a stand-up comedy routine. She said she prefers to sit down.10. I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just couldn't fit in.These funny English sentences are sure to brighten your day and bring a smile to your face. Whether you're looking for a quick pick-me-up or just want to share a laugh with friends, these humorous phrases are perfect for any occasion. So go ahead, share these jokes with your friends and family, and spread the joy of laughter! Remember, a good laugh is always good for the soul.。
英语幽默笑话句子
英语幽默笑话句子1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.2. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!3. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!7. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.8. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.10. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!11. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.13. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.15. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!16. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.18. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.20. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!21. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.24. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left.25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!26. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.27. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.28. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.29. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!30. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!31. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.32. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.33. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!34. Why don't skeletons fight? They don't have the guts.35. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.36. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.37. What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."38. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.39. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.41. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!42. What do cows do for fun? They go to the moooo-vies.43. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!44. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.45. How do you organize a space party? You "planet"!46. What did the big flower say to the little flower? "Hi, bud!"47. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.48. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.49. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!50. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!总结：以上提供了50个英语幽默笑话句子，希望能给你带来一些欢乐和轻松的时刻。
关于超级搞笑的英语句子
关于超级搞笑的英语句子在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。
小编精心收集了关于超级搞笑的英语句子，供大家欣赏学习!关于超级搞笑的英语句子11.we two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁阿2.how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你?3.you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你4.you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers !together up !你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上!5.hello everybody! if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，奘峦顺?6.you me you me 彼此彼此7.You Give Me Stop!! 你给我站住!8.know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知...9.WATCH SISTER 表妹10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’son can make hole!! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞!11.American Chinese not enough 美中不足12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述13.heart flower angry open 心花怒放14.go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过关于超级搞笑的英语句子2pull one's leg 开玩笑(不是“拉后腿”)in one's birthday suit 赤身裸体(不是“穿着生日礼服”)eat one's words 收回前言(不是“吃话”)an apple of love 西红柿(不是“爱情之果”)handwriting on the wall 不祥之兆(不是“大字报”)bring down the house 博得全场喝彩(不是“推倒房子”)have a fit 勃然大怒(不是“试穿”)make one's hair stand on end 令人毛骨悚然-恐惧(不是“令人发指--气愤”)be taken in 受骗，上当(不是“被接纳”)think a great deal of oneself 高看或看重自己(不是“为自己想得很多”)pull up one's socks 鼓起勇气(不是“提上袜子”)have the heart to do 用于否定句忍心做....(不是“有心做”或“有意做”)关于超级搞笑的英语句子3lover 情人(不是“爱人”)busboy 餐馆勤杂工(不是“公汽售票员”)busybody 爱管闲事的人(不是“大忙人”)dry goods (美)纺织品;(英)谷物(不是“干货”)heartman 做心脏移植手术的人(不是“有心人”)mad doctor 精神病科医生(不是“发疯的医生”)eleventh hour 最后时刻(不是“十一点”)blind date 男女初次会面(并非“盲目约会”或“瞎约会”) dead president 美钞(上印有总统头像)(并非“死了的总统”) personal remark 人身攻击(不是"个人评论")sweet water 淡水(不是"糖水")confidence man 骗子(不是"信得过的人")criminal lawyer 刑事律师(不是"犯罪的律师")service station加油站rest room 厕所(不是"休息室")dressing room 化妆室(不是"试衣室"或"更衣室")sporting house 妓院(不是"体育室")horse sense 常识(不是"马的感觉")capital idea 好主意(不是"资本主义思想")familiar talk 庸俗的交谈(不是"熟悉的谈话")black tea 红茶(不是"黑茶")black art 妖术(不是"黑色艺术")black stranger 完全陌生的人(不是"陌生的黑人")white coal (作动力来源用的)水white man 忠实可靠的人(不是"皮肤白的人")yellow book 黄皮书(法国政府报告书，以黄纸为封) (不是"黄色书籍")red tape 官僚习气(不是"红色带子")green hand 新手(不是"绿手")blue stocking 女学者、女才子(不是"蓝色长统袜")China policy 对华政策(不是"中国政策")Chinese dragon 麒麟(不是"中国龙")American beauty 红蔷薇(不是"美国美女")English disease 气管炎(不是"英国病")Indian summer 愉快宁静的晚年(不是"印度的夏日")Greek gift 害人的礼品(不是"希腊礼物")Spanish athlete 吹牛的人(不是"西班牙运动员") French chalk 滑石粉(不是"法国粉笔")。
最经典英语爆笑语录
最经典英语爆笑语录1、 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?2、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.4、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.5、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill anda laxative on the same night.6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.14、 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.15、 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.16、 My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.20、 Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.21、God must love stupid people. He made SOOOOO many.22、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.23、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.24、The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But it's still on the list.25、If sex is a pain in the a-ss, then you're doing it wrong...26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to bea vegetarian27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"32、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?34、 Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.37、 The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.39、 Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.41、 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.43、 The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.46、I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.47、 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.48、I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.49、 Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?50、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.。
幽默风趣的短句子英文
幽默风趣的短句子英文1. I'm on a seafood diet - I see food and I eat it!2. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you just don't know it yet.3. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.4. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.5. I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.6. The wise old owl sat on an oak. The more he heard, the less he spoke. The less he spoke, the more he heard. We should be like that wise old bird.7. Laughing is my cardio because it's cheaper than a gym membership.8. I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.9. I'm reading a book on antigravity. It's impossible to put down!10. Always borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect it back.11. Why are oranges the only fruit that is orange? Seriously, think about it.12. I hate when old people poke me and say "You're next". So I started doing it back to them at funerals.13. Parallel lines have so much in common but it's a shame they'll never meet.14. My wife accused me of being childish. I told her everyone my age is.15. Why don't eggs tell each other jokes? Because they'd crack each other up.16. What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.17. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Cause if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.18. What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.19. Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? Because it's two tired!20. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison!21. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!22. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.23. Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.24. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.25. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.26. I tried to sue the airport, but I lost my case.让我们用幽默开朗的心态面对生活,这样生活会更美好。
英语短句搞笑带中文翻译
通过以上这些句子的中英对照，我们可以更好地理解其中的含义和幽默感。在日常交流中，如果能够恰到好处地运用这种幽默感，无疑会让自己更加受人喜爱。不仅如此，当我们自己情绪低落时，也可以用一些搞笑的句子来调侃自己，让自己在欢笑中释放压力。
"我不是怪人，我是限量版。"
9. "I’m not always late, the clock is just always fast."
"我并不总是迟到，时钟总是走得太快。"
10. "I’m not small, I’m just more cuddle-sized."
"我不小，我只是更适合拥抱而已。"
这些搞笑的英语短句都有着幽默的性格和特点，通过对生活中的琐事和自身特点的调侃，给人一种轻松愉快的感觉。每一个句子都能引起人们的共鸣，因为在生活中大家都会有迟到、被突如其来的雨淋湿、被家里的家具绊倒等等尴尬瞬间。幽默在生活中也是很重要的，能够让我们摆脱一些不愉快，放松心情，更加乐观地看待生活中的挑战。
总的来说，这些英语短句即使是在简短的文字中也蕴含着一种乐观的生活态度，让人忍俊不禁。相信在未来的生活中，如果我们能够时刻保持着乐观的心态，那么生活中的酸甜苦辣都会变得微不足道。让我们在幽默中快乐地面对生活吧！
2. "I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。"
3. "I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than other people."
幽默的英语句子
幽默的英语句子Life is too short to be serious all the time, and sometimes a little humor can go a long way in brightening up our day. In this document, we'll explore some humorous English sentences that are sure to bring a smile to your face.1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.2. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.3. I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won't stop sending me Kit-Kats.4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.5. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."6. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.7. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.10. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find good players.11. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.12. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.13. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.14. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."15. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.17. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.18. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.19. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find good players.20. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.21. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.22. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.23. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."24. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.25. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.26. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.27. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.28. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find good players.29. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.30. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.31. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.32. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."33. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.35. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.36. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.37. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find good players.38. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.39. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.40. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.41. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."42. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.43. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.44. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.45. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.46. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but it's really hard to find good players.47. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.48. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.49. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.50. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."In conclusion, humor is a universal language that can bring people together and lighten the mood. These humorous English sentences are just a small sample of theendless possibilities for bringing laughter into our lives. So, the next time you need a good laugh, remember these funny sentences and share them with your friends and family. Laughter is truly the best medicine!。
幽默的英语日常句子
幽默的英语日常句子1. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...she gave me a hug.2. I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today...now when I talk,I have this strange scents-ation.3. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia...she whispered, "They're right behind you."4. My friend invited me to go to a fancy dress party as an island...I turned up dressed as a fridge. He asked me why I came as a fridge...I said, "Because a fridge is an island in a kitchen sea!"5. I've been trying to come up with a joke about colors, but I just can't seem to get the hue-mor right!6. I was reading a book about anti-gravity...it was impossible to put down!7. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!8. I bought a new pair of shoes from a drug dealer...I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!9. My girlfriend texted me saying she wanted to break up. I replied, "Goodbye." She didn't understand and asked why I said goodbye. I told her, "Auto correct strikes again. I meant 'goodbrie.' Our relationship was cheesy anyway!"10. My computer crashed today, so I had to borrow my horse's laptop. It'sa little unstable, but it's okay as long as nobody jogs the table!11. I just got a job at the bakery...it's the yeast I could do!12. I've been trying to learn sign language but it's really difficult (I)haven't heard a word anyone has said!13. I went to the zoo the other day, but they only had one dog...it was a shih tzu.14. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough...seriously, I'm a doughnut maker!15. My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a construction joke...I told him to build me up first and then demolish me with laughter!16. I accidentally swallowed a bottle of food coloring today. I'm okay, but now I feel like I've dyed a little inside.17. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!18. Knock-knock.- Who's there?Says.- Says who?Says me, that's who!19. I was trying to explain how unpredictable the English language is to my friend, but his response was, "I see...why?"20. I got a job at a bakery, but I quickly realized I wasn't making enough dough...so I quit, and now I'm opening a bakery across the street to getmy bread back!21. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, "How flexible are you?" I said, "Well, I can't make it on Tuesdays."22. I went to a seafood disco last night...I pulled a mussel.23. Have you heard about that new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu—you get what you deserve!24. I tried to start a bakery called "Flour Power," but all the good names are taken...I should have kneaded the competition.25. Do you know why French people only eat one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un œuf!26. I tried to take a funny picture of my cat, but he wasn't feline photogenic.27. I bought shoes from a drug dealer, but I don't know what he laced them with...I've been tripping ever since!28. Did you hear about the man who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!。
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幽默英语短句二十句1，Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.不用和傻瓜吵架，因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他的水平，然后再用丰富的经验打败你。
2，Evening news is where they begin with …Good evening‟, and then proceed to tell you why it isn‟t.晚间新闻总是以“晚上好”开头，再告诉你为什么好不了。
3，Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on thevery edge of the pool and throw them fish?海豚可聪明了，你晓得不？只需驯养几个星期，他们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼吃了。
4，Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 yearstelling them to sit down and shut-up.孩子定义：你先花2年教他们走路和说话，然后你再花16年叫他们坐定和闭嘴。
5，It‟s not the fall that kills you; it‟s the sudden stop at the end.跳楼的时候，“啊~~“的时候还没死，”啪！“那才是死了。
6，Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了‘7, A little boy asked his father , ”Daddy, how mach dose it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don‟t know son,I‟m still paying.”一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要付出多大代价？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道、、、、我还在偿付呢。
8, If at first you don‟t succeed, try again … unless you fail at skydiving.如果一次不成功，别放弃，再试一次、、、、、除非你在跳伞。
9， A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快两倍。
10， It is said that 90% of the things we worry about will never happen, and the other 10% can be managed. So why dowe worry, and what is there to worry about?据说我们所担心的事90%都不会发生，而剩下的10%又完全可以解决。
所以，我们为什么要担心呢？又有什么值得担心的呢？11， I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health and love. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or feartry to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soonthey‟ll forget my number.我的“心灵电话”是为祥和、健康和博爱而设。
每当怀疑、焦虑和恐惧试图和我联系时，电话总是在占线，所以很快它们就忘了我的号码12, If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.如果你看到麻烦从路上向你走来，有一点可以确定，在触到你以前，它们十有八九会滚进路边的沟。
13， Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable .真正的困难是可以克服的，想象出来的困难时难以征服的14， If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stressand tension. And if you didn‟t ask me, I‟d still have to sayit.如果你要问我长寿最关键的秘诀是什么，我会说一定要避免忧虑、焦虑和紧张。
如果你不问我，我也会这么说。
15， It is the trouble that never comes that causes the ioss of sleep.让我们失眠的总是那些从不会发生的麻烦。
16， Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it. But don‟tworry. Worry never fixes anything.每天担心一点点，一生便会失去很多年。
如果有问题，尽快去解决。
但不要担心，担心不能解决问题。
17， Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!不要担心路不平，去为精彩旅途而欢庆。
Definition of Love 诠释爱情1)Love is a beautiful dream. 爱是一场美梦。
2)Love is sweet torment. 爱是一种甜蜜的痛苦。
3)Love is a great teacher. 爱是以为伟大的导师。
4)Love is the touchstone of virtue. 爱情是美德的试金石。
5)Love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe. 爱情是最甜蜜的幸福，最剧烈的悲痛。
6)Love is a fool who knows not what he is saying. 爱情是一个自己不知所言的傻瓜。
7)Love is an appetite of generation by the mediation of beauty. 爱情是一种以美做媒介的繁衍欲望。
8)Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world intoreality. 爱情是一种吧幻想世界变成现实的尝试。
9)Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered byimagination. 爱情是一幅大自然提供画布，想象力作笔的风景画。
10)Love is not two people gazing into each other‟s eyes, butrather two people looking outward in the same direction.爱不是你看我，我看你，而是两个人朝同一个方向往外看。
婚前“三思而后行”1)Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of oins. 婚姻中三分是爱，七分是宽恕。
2)Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shutafterwards.婚前睁大眼睛，婚后睁一只眼闭一只眼。
3） It‟s not beauty, but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.姑娘不是靠美貌，而是靠美德才能守住丈夫。
4） Love is an ideal things, but marriages a real thing ; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.爱情是理想的，而婚姻是现实的；如果将理想和现实混淆，则会受到惩罚。
5） We should measure affection, not like youngsters by the ardor of its passion, but by its strength and constancy.我们应该以力量和持久来衡量爱情，不应像年轻人那样只注重狂热的激情。
6) There are six requisites in every happy marriage. The first is faith and the remaining five are confidence.幸福的婚姻有六个条件，第一个是“忠贞”，其余五个是“信任”。
7）Tell me , dear, why can I pierce any target I well, but not my love‟s heart?告诉我，亲爱的，为什么我可以穿透任何我想要穿透的目标，却不能穿透我爱人的心。
8） You gave me the key to your heart, my love ;Then why do you make me knock?你给了我开启心扉的钥匙，我的至爱；那为什么还要我敲门呢？9) I thank God for giving you to me as my wife. You are truly are truly a precious gift. From across the miles I think of you and long to hold you in my arms. You are my love and my life.感谢上帝吧你许给我为妻。