经典散文阅读(英汉互译)：西式幽默

经典散文阅读（英汉互译）：西式幽默

学院请来一位洋教师，长得挺怪，红脸，金发，连鬓大胡须，有

几根胡子一直逾过面颊，挨近鼻子，他个子足有二米，每迸屋门必须

低头，才能躲过门框子的拦击，叫人误以为他进门先鞠躬，这不太讲

究礼貌了吗？

Our institute employed an English teacher. He looked very strange red-faced, golden-haired, with a thick growth of whiskers that reached all the way to the nose. He was really tall– no less than six foot five. When he came in through

the door, he had to lower his head to avoid banging against

the door frame. It looked as though he always bowed to you at the door and that was much too polite.

顶怪的是，他每每与中国学生聊天，聊到可笑之处时，他不笑，

脸上也没表情，好象他不喜欢玩笑；不过有时毫不可笑的事，他会冷

不防放声大笑，笑得翻江倒海，仰面朝天，几平连人带椅子要翻过去，喉结在脖子上乱跳，满脸胡子直抖。常使中国学生面面相觑，不知这

位洋教师的神经是不是有点问题？

What was more, he never laughed, when he chatted with his Chinese students on amusing stories, nor did his face show

any expression as if he knew no sense of humour. However,

when it came to topics of the most dull nature, he would

burst into uncontrollable laughter, roaring while rocking in his chair, almost falling flat on his back, his Adam’s apple dancing up and down in his throat and his whiskers fluttering all over his face. The students would then look at each other, wondering if he was in his right mind.

一天，洋教师出题，考察学生们用洋文作文的水准，题目极简单，随便议论议论校园内的一事一物，褒贬皆可。中国学生很灵，一挥而

就，洋教师阅后。评出了作文一篇，学生们听后大为不解，这种通篇说谎的文章怎么能被评为“”？

One day he set the students an essay to see how well they could write in English, the topic being A Comment on Life on the Campus-it her complimentary or critical. That was simple. And his students, quick at writing, finished it at one go and turned it in no time. He went through the papers and picked one that he thought the best. When he read it out to the students, they were greatly perplexed. Of all the comments, why did he like this one best, Not a single word of it was true.

原来这篇作文是写学校食堂。写作文的学生来自郊区农村，人很老实，胆子又小, 生伯得罪校方，妨碍将来毕业时的分数、评语、分配工作等等，便不顾真假，胡编乱造，竭力美化，唱赞歌。使得一些学生看后惯惯然。不过……洋教师明知学校食堂糟糕透顶的状况，为什么偏要选这篇作文？有人直问洋教师。

It was about the campus cafeteria and the author was a peaceable and timid guy from a village near the town. In order not to offend the school authorities — a decisive factor： concerning his final grading, evaluation and, above; all, where he was to go after graduation — he had made up a high-sounding story in praise of the cafeteria regardless of reality, thus making his ClaSS- mates very angry. The teacher was as well aware of the cafeteria’s terrible conditions, but why should this piece in particular have appealed to him so much, Someone asked.

洋教师说：“这文章写得当然好，而且绝妙无比。你们听一一”他拿起作文念起来，“我们学校最美的地方，不是教室，不是操场，也不是校门口那个带喷水的小花坛，而是食堂。瞧，玻璃干净得几乎