0- 开课前的英文小笑话整理-

1.I Can’t Let Him Get Away

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking

straight i nstead of sideways. Wow, she thought, “this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. ” So they got married immediately.”

The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.”

2.I think that I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

3. A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of

going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

4.Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?"

5. A man who was robbed when he was walking on the street. Later on he went to the police

station and he was asked by a policeman, “Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?” He said, “If I had opened my mouth, the robber would have found my four gold teeth and that’d be much worse.”

6.On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.

"sorry,"he said to the pickpocket," you are too late.My wife did it before you."