读后续写范文欣赏

读后续写范文欣赏

第二节读后续写（满分25分）

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tom, had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately, on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was so angry that she said to Tom, “I’m going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away.

With no path to follow, Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place, she turned around, hoping to see the lake. To her surprise, she saw nothing but forest and, far beyond, a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost.

“Tom!” she cried. “Help!”

No reply. If only she had not left her mobile phone in that bag with Tom. Jane kept moving, but the farther she walked, the more confused she became. As night was beginning to fall, Jane was so tired that she had to stop for the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much to be with Tom and her family. She wanted to hold him and tell him how much she loved him.

Jane rose at the break of day, hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling (滴落) somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy, she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better.Feeling stronger now, Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake.

As she picked her way carefully along the stream, Jane heard a helicopter. Is that for me? Unfortunately, the trees made it impossible for people to see her from above.

A few minutes later, another helicopter flew overhead. Jane took off her yellow blouse, thinking that she should go to an open area and flag them if they came back again.

But no more helicopters came and it was dark. __________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ It was daybreak when Jane woke up. ___________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 续写批改要求：

语言---功能与目的是否完成了交际任务，即意义的表达。作者表达的与读者理解的是否一致。写的东西是否有意义, 正确和完整性。

融洽度：人物，地点，事件等与前文相符合。晚上Jane做了什么？从Jane的角度去写。这样衔接才合理。“文气”读起来通畅、舒服。

关键词对续写起框定和引导作用：

人物Jane / Tom 环境the forest 器物helicopter / yellow blouse 动作walked / climbed

内容如何丰富：

1）同义词、反义词替换，主动被动替换；with的复合结构，Ving作状语等。

2）故事情节上下功夫。

注意：不要刻意地使用所谓的高频词汇与语法结构。写作是为了意义的妥切传达，不是简单的堆砌华丽辞藻。

15分为及格分

批卷时：先确定档次，再定给分。以语言为主，情节次之。

全抄的零分，拼凑的有意义的，给1—2分。少于130个字的扣2分。

考生作文 1 (22分，原卷摘录)

But no helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Jane was sad. She sat by the stream, resting her aching feet.If I hadn’t quarreled with Tom, I wouldn’t have to be here. Jane thought regretfully, with tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted to say sorry to Tom for losing her temper. However, the only thing she could do was lie by the stream and wait for help. It was getting late and Jane fell asleep.

It was daybreak when Jane woke up.She stood up to find something to eat. She walked and walked until she came to an open area where water and berries were available. Suddenly, she heard a helicopter. She took off her yellow blouse and began shaking it widely, hoping someone could see her. She shouted out “Tom”. The helicopter slowed down and landed on the ground. With the door open, Tom ran out. Seeing Jane, he was so excited and couldn’t contain his joy. He hugged Jane tightly. “Tom,I won’t lose my temper again. I want to stay with you forever.” Jane said in tears.

考生作文2 (16分，原卷摘录)

But no helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Jane was too tired to walk. Then she sat on a stone, drinking and eating a few berries. Although it was dark, she could also see the stream. She shouted, “ Tom, I’m waiting for you here, I love you!” And she believed that her family will come soon when she wake up tomorrow. Eventually, she slept quietly and smiled.

It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Fortunately, it seemed that there was a helicopter coming at a distance. She stood up and walked towards the sound. She followed the sound and shouted; “Help me! I’m here!”. While climbing to an open area, she watched a helicopter, she waved her yellow blouse and shouted, “Hey, please help me, stop! stop!. To her great joy, the helicopter stopped. A few minutes later, she heard that there are many people walking to her, Eventually, Tom ran to her quickly and hugged her “Jane, I’m coming!” They smiled with the tear running out.

考生作文3 (8分，原卷摘录)

But no helicopters came and it was getting dark again. Jane started shouting, But she was tired very much. She didn’t have power to shout right away. She started climbing the small mountain after resting. She heard a helicopter again. She responded. And then, Jane heard something to her. Right away Tom was running to her. Jane started crying, But she was too toyed to speak. Tom took her wife to home.

It was daybreak when Jane woke up.Jane cried, said. “ I am sorry, Tom. I miss you. I want to tell you how much I love you. I am grateful, Thanks for you can fing me. You never give up me. I shouldn’t walk away alone.” Finally, they kissed