《荆轲刺秦王》(搞笑英语小话剧-英语及翻译)

《荆珂刺秦王》

旁白：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, where some crazy people live, who are trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.

很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲是最有名的剑客并被派去杀清王，嬴政。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么事？好吧，下面将会告诉你真相。

Action I

太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?

(画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister?

镜子，镜子，告诉我，这个世界上最漂亮的人是谁？(画外音：是你，太子丹！)谢谢你的镜子！我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。但嬴政是一个嫉妒的家伙，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相他会杀了我。我很害怕。我该怎么办呢？我大臣在哪里？

阿三: Honey, I am coming.

亲爱的，我来了。

太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!

我告诉过你一次又一次，你应该叫我“我最美丽的、优雅、英俊、迷人、可爱、聪明和最亲爱的太子丹”！

阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~ 当然，亲爱的！我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个英雄去杀嬴政~

太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

欧耶！二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但谁是合适的人选？

阿三：After screening , I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

经过筛选后我手上有两个有前途的人。一是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将PK为世界头号杀手。

太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

好的，给我尽快得主，好吗？

阿三：Yes.

Action II

荆轲：Are you Li mochou?

李莫愁：Yes.

荆轲：OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.

好的。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是世界头号杀手之王。

李莫愁：Are you challenging me?

你想挑战我吗？

荆轲：Off course!

李莫愁：Come on!

李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?

发生了什么？你为什么不疼？

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we?

赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？

李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

妈妈常说：“生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我明白了，妈妈是对的。

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?

哦，天哪！你能给我一个创新的回答“你好吗？”？

荆柯：Sure!

太子丹：How are you?

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?

荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too! May I have your name card, please?

哦，我也是在开玩笑呢！我可以要一张你的名片吗？

阿三：Hero，we need your help.

荆柯：I am busy now!

太子丹：You can get a lot of money.

荆柯：I am very busy now!

阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?

IC、ID、IQ卡？

荆柯：I am very very busy now!