雅思写作批改 (13)

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people become a good citizens later when they come into ex-prisoners. I completely believe this idea about allowing ex-prisoners to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.

There are many methods to provide information about protecting student. Firstly, invitation police officers come to school to educate young people. This method could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens from lawbreakers, but young people are often hear somethings from some people who isn’t a authority man. Secondly, teacher to speak to their students about crime which take some dangerous things. Thirdly, education films may be beneficial for young people to ask some questions each other.

In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advices from someone who can speak himself experience. Ex-prisoners can tell young people a story about how they became involved in crime, the dangerous of a criminal lifestyle, and what the life in prison is really like.

I deem it is a great way to describe a life about prisons, and I reckon most of teenager are willing to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.

In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes.

1.很多女孩不愿意在男人为大多数的行业找工作，因为她们会面临在高职位升

迁中的阻碍。

Many girls don’t want to find a job in some industry which men takes up the most number of people, because they will face a high position obstacle during the promotion.

2.经济下滑已经导致失业率上升，因为雇主打算裁员而且拒绝雇用新员工。The economic downturn has led to increase unemployment rate, as employers plan to lay off workers and refuse to hire new workers.

3.送贵重礼物是一种中国传统，当收到或者送便宜礼物的时候许多人觉得没面

子。

To send expensive gifts is a tradition in Chinese, some people feel embarrassed when they received cheap gifts.