绝望的主妇第二季第一集

1.previously on...2.you're awfully brave buying a place site unseen.3.we could tell from the advertisement4.it was just what we were looking for. sometimes...5.who ever said you were the father?6didn't you think it was strange that you have the only lawn on wisteria lane7that needed to be mowed three times a week?8i am going to kill you!9the truth about our loved ones...10you asked peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me11so i quit. i'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad.12we should... talk about this.13you're goin' back to work.14can lead you into harm's way.15i think i'm having a heart attack.16you are gonna come through this operation just fine.17hello?18rex passed away about ten minutes ago.19i'm so sorry.20mr. delfino took my dad away to kill him.21now i'm gonna kill mr. delfino.22it was an accepted fact among the residents of wisteria lane23that ida greenberg liked her liquor. 24people had seen her drunk atsewing bees...25the department of motorvehicles...26and the first methodist church.27ida had tried to quit drinking manytimes,28but she couldn't.29then one night in a moment ofdespair,30she challenged god31to quench her never-ending thirst.32luckily for ida, god was listening.33zach, listen to me.34no!35not so tough now, are you?36uh! ow! oh! bongo, no!37bongo! bongo!38it was at that moment it occurredto ida39god may work in mysteriousways,40but he isn't particularly subtle.41sync:ytet-fisherchen-=/bbs=-42desperate housewives43it had been a year since mydeath,44and a lot had changed on wisterialane.45children had learned new games.46new neighbors had moved in.47old houses had been rebuilt...48i told you guys twice.49okay, craig, what's goin' on?50and fresh tragedies had occurred.51in one house,52a widow was getting ready to tellher friends of her husband'spassing.53but until the time was right,54she would wait.55and life, as it tends to do,56would go on.57i look like hell. i need a hairbrush.58yeah, um, ahem, that's not gonnahelp.59susan,60officer romslove is here for yourstatement.61zach young do that?62no. she fell. bit her lip.it was an accident.6300:04:23,510 --> 00:04:24,730okay.64so, uh, walk me through whathappened.65well, i went over to mike's to feedthe dog.66- i'm sorry?- feed the dog.67and i turned around,68and there was zach young--69and that's zach with an "h"--70- the doctor said keep that in.71you gotta understand, zach's hada tough time.72- he's got emotional issues--- 'cause he's crazy.73still, i don't think he meant to hurtanybody.74uh, hello! uh, he was waiting there for you to come home75so he could kill you.76is that what happened when you got home?77the kid took a shot at you?78actually, susan fired the gun.79that's because i was wrestling it away from zach80so that he wouldn't shoot you.81oh, there's blood.82could we do this later?she's kind of a mess right now. 83yeah, i think i can fill in the rest for you.84i'd appreciate it.85- you feel better, mrs. mayer.- thanks.86ow! that hurts.87- i'm gonna get you more ice.- okay.88no, i'm tellin' you.89susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid.90so you're saying this was more ofa domestic squabble?91definitely, yeah.92are we required to press charges?93well, you're not really required, 94but it's something you should really consider when a handgun is involved.95john!96- how did you get in here?- i know where you keep the key.97- mimosa?- no, i'm pregnant, you jackass. 98i made yours with seltzer.99do you have any idea whatyou've done?100that little stunt you pulledyesterday in the courtroom101could get carlos sent away foreight years.102Yeah ,i thought you might be alittle mad about that.103but once you calm down,104you'll see that it's just the two ofus.105it's gonna be awesome.106you brought luggage?107he's gone. we don't have tosneak around anymore.108we can have a real relationship.109it's what's best for the three of us.110the three of us? how exactly doesthat benefit carlos?111- i'm talking about my baby.- you don't know it's your baby.112i don't even know it's your baby.113and i don't wanna know 'cause itdoesn't matter.114so what, you don't love me?115well, up until the point that youtold my husband we were havingan affair,116i was quite fond of you.117since then...118not a fan!119hey.120hey.121oh, why on earth would you letthem finger paint beforebreakfast?122it's my job to clean that up now,so it's my call, right?123you're right. i'm sorry.124hey, i thought the meeting wasn'tuntil 1.125oh, i have a thousand things to dobefore that--126borrow a decent scarf from bree,127buy a lipstick i don't hate--128- mommy,mommy,look!- aah! no! no!129no, nobody touches mommy,okay?130i love you, i love your fingerpainting,131but if you touch me with thosemessy hands,132i will cut them off.133go on. off. good.134it's okay.135- a little nervous?- who, me?136i've been out of work for sevenyears,137i'm a woman of a certain age in abusiness that values youth aboveall else.138- why should i be nervous?- you are experienced.139you are brilliant.140you are going to nail this jobinterview, okay?141thank you. uh, no. i can't...142you're very... so...143thank you. here.144oh, my cell phone.145lynette, hi, it's bree.146i do hope i'm not calling too early. 147hmm?148oh, of course you can borrow that scarf.149i'll press it for you.150um, i have,uh,some news.151rex died.152i thought they were gonna operate. what happened?153apparently rex's heart just gave out.154oh, my god.155so when can we see bree?156she said she was gonna call. 157she's got a lot of things to do, 158planning for the funeral, that sort of thing.159she doesn't look that busy to me. 160hi, hi. what are you doing out here?161oh, i'm just waiting for, uh, rex's mother.162she's gonna be here any second. 163honey, we are so sorry.164oh, do one of you drink soy milk? 165i was cleaning out the fridge this morning,166and rex is the only one who drinks it.167i just bought it on Friday. i'd hate to throw it away.168what a waste.169oh, sweetie.170honey, you can let it out. 171no. no, i can't afford to fall apartright now.172why?173you're about to find out.174bree!175oh, stop here. this is the house.176is that...177yes, that is rex's mother.178i can't believe it.179it's like some hideous nightmare.180my life is over!181my life is over!182it appears there's a 7-year gapsince your last position.183what, did you take some time off?184i was a stay-at-home mom.185i wish it had been time off.186- boy or girl?- a girl...187- and three boys.- four kids?188yeah, of course, they won't get inthe way of the job189because my husband's stayinghome with them from now on.190i knew i could never do both jobsjustice.191that's why i chose not to have afamily.192i didn't want to be one of thosekind of women--193you know, sloughing things offonto coworkers194because of a pediatricianappointment or a dance recital.195i get really neurotic about puttingpeople out.196with all due respect, nina, won'tbe an issue.197i can leave home at home.198and it's not gonna break yourheartto leave those sad little facesbehind?199are you kidding?200this office is paradise--201grown-ups talking aboutgrown-up things.202no screaming, no vomiting, noboogers under the table.203you're gonna have to drag meoutta here kicking andscreaming--204weekends, holidays, whenever.205all right, ed wants to make thefinal decision.206so i will bring you back tomorrowat 3 for a follow-up.207well, that--that sounds great.thank you--208lynette, be early. show mesomething.209okay.210no way. dad did not have a teddybear.211he most certainly did.212Oh ,that was doolittle.213your father never went anywherewithout him.214here's your tea, phyllis.215oh.216look, bree.217this was the tie that rex worewhen he graduated from prepschool.218i think he should wear it.219you know, for the funeral?220phyllis, that's an orange tie.221well, those were his school colors--green and orange.222well, um, he's being buried in a blue suit.223maybe he could be buried in a different suit.224i don't think so, but thank you, though.225you, uh, you kept dad's old comic books?226oh, yes, i kept everything.227look here.228i even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. 229he didn't think i knew about it, but i did.230well, looks like dad was into big breasts.231oh, yes.232that's why i was surprised when he married your mother.233so you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it?234fine.235i don't need to talk.236okay. yes, i had a little affair.237it wasn't the best thing to do, and i'm not proud of it.238but it's not the worst thing that could have happened.239nobody died.240oh, don't be such a martyr, carlos. 241okay, it takes two people. 242how many times did you go off onyour little business trips243and leave me alone?24400:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,740see, so technically, you cheated,too.245it's just your mistress was yourwork.246no, okay. that was a stretch. i'msorry.247carlos, wait! come back. look, iwanna start over.248we're gonna have a baby.249isn't that what you alwayswanted?250carlos, wait!251i said i was sorry and i love you!252what more do you want?!253i want a paternity test.254mrs. applewhite, hi.255i am bree van de kamp,256and this is my daughter danielle.257- hello.- hi.258hey, i'm matthew. this is my son.259hi. i would have been over soonerto introduce myself,260but i'm afraid there's beena deathin my family.261my dad.262i'm so sorry. i lost my dad, too.263i know what you must be goingthrough right now.264thank you.265anyway, i'm afraid that my visithas an ulterior motive.266the organist at our church is onvacation,267and edie britt mentioned that youused to be a concert pianist,and--268i would be honored to play foryou.269why don't i bring some sheetmusic over later270and we can plan someselections?271thank you. that's just a hugeweight off my shoulders.272oh, these are for you.- how sweet.273bree, we widows have to sticktogether.274bye.27500:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,670Pretending your father's dead?276don't you find that a littlemorbid(病态的)?277well,i just thought it could help ourcover story, okay?278just, you know, win 'em over.279oh, sweetie. i know you meantwell.280but in the future, you leave thecleverness to me.281since when are we protected bydorset security?28200:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,000oh, we're not. it's a deterrent(威慑的)in case zach comes back.283i told mike i didn't sleep last night,so he got me this sign.284that guy is so supportive.285you know he's out right now in aride-along with the policesearching for zach?286- really?- yeah.287he's determined to see that kid behind bars.288so tomorrow at school i want you to let everybody know289that we got this new, expensive security system.290- mom, just--- work it into the conversation. 291- you know, put the word out there- i've gotta tell you something. 292- emphasize the motion detectors.- mom, stop, stop. listen.293what? what is it?294yesterday i overheard mike telling that cop295that he didn't wanna press charges against zach.296he made the whole thing sound like it was your fault.297my fault?298hi. uh, i need a paternity test. 299well, we'll just schedule you for an exam.300oh, no, no. i-i don't need to take a test.301i am just trying to reassure my husband of what i know is true in my heart.302so if you could just slip me someone else's test results,303i could make my own.304i got photoshop for christmas. 305oh,come on.306you look like a fun-loving girl. 307i am sure you've been in a couple hairy situations of your own. 308just because i choose to expressmyself309doesn't mean that i condone(容忍)adultery.310sorry.311paternity test results?312i know. i'm in the same situation.313- really?- mm-hmm.314i just found out the clinic screwedup315and gave me an egg thatbelonged to some lesbian.316it was supposed to be implantedin her lover,317and now my husband's freakingout318because he thinks that our baby'sgonna be gay!319okay. we're in slightly differentsituations.320but do you wanna get a cup ofcoffee and talk about it?321yeah. that'd be nice. thanks.322yeah. us girls have to sticktogether.323we shouldn't let that stupid pieceof paper ruin our life.324yeah!325obviously, i've known rex foryears,326but when it comes to writing aeulogy(颂词),327i like as much input from thefamily as possible.328oh. well, um, what kind of input?329oh, well, he means anecdotes(轶事,趣闻['ænɪk,dot]),330little stories.331isn't that what you mean,reverend?332well, yes, but, uh, also--333i thought that you might needsome help,334so last night i stayed up all night335and tried to remember funnythings336and moments that said so muchabout rex as a person.337my. how--how many pages doyou have there?33815.339well, you're hardly going to haveto write anything at all, reverend.340some of those anecdotes(轶事)are just priceless.341phyllis, these are all things thathappened to rex before he wentto college.342so?343well, don't you think it'd be nice ifreverend devoted(献身；致力)34400:19:19,510 --> 00:19:21,990part of the eulogy(颂词[ˈjulədʒi])to his life after he was married?345oh, well, yes, of course.346the reverend will mention thatpart of his life.347he's going to do more thanmention it.34800:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,670that's the part he'll focus on.349in fact, i think three anecdotesfrom rex's childhood is more thanenough.350um, that--that seems fair.351well, whatever you think is appropriate.352fine.353i just thought if we were going to focus on a time in rex's life,354that we might as well focus on the happiest time.355let's talk flowers.356now i know lilies are traditional, 357but i think i can get you a deal on some white roses.358Reverend(教士,牧师), if you don't call her on that incredibly insensitive comment,359i'm gonna lose it.360i'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded.361- i knew exactly what i was saying.- ladies--36200:20:09,910 --> 00:20:12,800 the happiest time in rex's life was not his childhood.363he loved being a husband, and he loved being a father.364well, he may have loved being a father,365but your marriage was a disaster. 366phyllis, is there something you'd like to say?367you made the last years of rex's life miserable,368and now he's dead,369and he'll never have another chance at happiness.370you are no longer invited to the funeral.371what? 372- you're not serious.- oh, yes, i am.373i am going to hire security,374and those security men are goingto have sticks,375and if you so much asset (财产)foot in that sanctuary(避难所),376they will be instructed to beat youwith those sticks.377bree, this is your grief talking--378reverend, if you don't back me upon this, so help me,379i will pull the funeral out of yourchurch.380- bree!- i am not kidding.381i will go nondenomination alsofast, it will make your head spin.382susan, i heard what happenedwith zach.383how are you doing?384- fine. is mike here?- inside.385jeez. you must have beenterrified.386i mean, he put poor Felicia in thehospital.387- did he pistol-whip you?- no.388oh, come on. you can tell me.389- did he slap(掌击)you around?- no.390well, don't get me wrong. i'mthrilled that you're okay.391it's just that when someone holdssomeone else hostage,392they usually rough 'em up a little.393it wasn't like that.394- not even a little kicking?- edie...395someone to see you.396- well, hey, how's it goin'?- good.397so there's a rumor going around398that you don't wanna presscharges against zach.399is that true?400yeah.401wow. um... i find that...confusing.402look, if we make a big deal out ofthis,403he could end up going to prison.404he held a gun to my face, so i'mthinking, "good."405i've been to prison. he couldn'thandle it.406- who cares?- i care.407well, you should care more aboutme.408i'm your girlfriend. we're movingin together.409he's just a neighbor. you don'teven know zach.410i know enough about him to knowthat deep down ,he's a good kid.411Mike ,he wanted to kill you.412but he didn't.413you never asked me why zachwanted to shoot you.414aren't you curious? does itmatter?415zach said you kidnapped hisfather so you could kill him.416i didn't kill paul young.417i didn't think you did. now tell me why zach does.418i found some evidence that suggested that paul murdered deirdre.41916 years ago deirdre had a baby, 420and paul and mary alice young kidnapped him421and raised him as their own.422deirdre tracked him down here to wisteria lane and demanded her baby back.423so paul killed her?424actually, it was mary alice.425oh, my god.426mike?427i answered your phone.428it's the police.429yeah. delfino.430you did?431okay, i can be there in 20 minutes.432zach's dead.433they want me to come identify the body.434thanks for coming down.435since the kid's father is missing, 436we didn't know who else to call. 437so... you folks ready?438that's not zach.439you're sure?440he had a gun in my face for six hours.441i know what he looks like.442- can you give us a minute?- sure. 443- zach is your son, isn't he?- yeah.444i'm pretty sure.445how long have you known?446paul young told me.447deirdre got pregnant before iwent to jail448and,um, told me she had anabortion.449guess she lied.450i see.451when i took paul out to the desert,452and i was so angry, i just wantedto hurt him...453the way they hurt deirdre.454but then when he told me455that he and mary alice had takencare of deirdre's baby--456my baby...457that rage just went away.458kept me from doing somethingreally stupid.459i'm gonna take a cab home, okay?460mom, grandma's leaving, all right?you have to talk to her.461no, i don't. if you heard the thingsthat she said to me--462look, i'm sure she was a real bitch,okay?463but she's family, so that makesher our bitch.464let her say good-bye to dad.465she went out of her way to becruel to me.466i don't want her at the funeral.467mom, if you don't let grandmacome, i will never forgive you.468did i ask for your help?469you know dad would want herthere.470it's true rex and i did not have theperfect marriage,471but for 18 years i tried my verybest,472and for that i am entitled to yourrespect.473of course you are.474of course i respect you.475well, then why did you say thosethings to me?476i guess i thought it would beeasier to be angry at you477than to be angry with rex.478i mean, what was he thinking,479leaving me?480i do want you to come to thefuneral.481you don't know what that meansto me, bree.482thank you.483someone should get my luggage.484okay, let's get outta here. tom?485- yeah?- mom.486what's the matter?487my back--i threw it out. i washolding parker upside down.488okay. come on. give me your feet.489how's that? is that better?490honey, can you push theinterview?491because i don't think i'm gonnabe able492to take care of penny like this. 493don't do this to me.494i don't have time to make a phone call,495and i promised that woman i would not let the kids496interfere with this job.497but that was a stupid promise. 498remember that time when you were away in tucson, and i had a 104 fever,499but i still managed to take the kids trick-or-treating?500honey...501i don't think that's helping.502tom, being a mom is like being an e.r. doctor.503there are no days off, so get up! get up!504okay.505jeez, are you crying?506just a little.507i'll be fine. you just... go. just go. 508oh, for god sakes.509give 'em hell, honey.510you...511hi, mrs. scavo. you can wait inside.512- they'll be right in.- great.513listen, uh...514- stu.- stu.515you look like a bright, uh, responsible young man,516 and i bet you just love kids. am iright?517ed ferrara, lynette scavo.518thanks so much for having me in.519nice to meet you. please, sit.50thank you.521we're gonna have to make thisquick.522i gotta leave in five to catch aplane.523i got celtic ticket son the floor.524this is a great r閟um?525i see you worked with thedonahues.526you know, i snaked the oslocandy account from 'em last year.527so you've done a lot of copywork?528i have. but when i moved over tocenn and simmons,529um,i got to do a broader range ofcampaigns.530t...531uh,v...532and... uh...533radio...534uh,billboards.535could you excuse me for aminute?536please?537what's going on?538i have no idea.539stu, you are an idiot.540you're an idiot, an absolute idiot.541hi.542ha! guys, i'd like you to meetpenny.543she gives me all my best ideas.544you brought your baby to theinterview.545- it won't be an ongoing thing.- you bet it won't.546nina, it's fine.547any chance we can get that littlelady to be quiet?548not until i change her diaper(尿布).549could you just give me twominutes?550sorry. plane. well...551then watch me multitask.552here's how i see it.553you guys run a really good shop,554but if you want your agency to goto the next level,555you have to focus on two things.556first, you've gotta win someawards.557do some p.s.a.s, pro bono stuff,whatever it takes,558because whether they admit it ornot,559clients care about what's in yourtrophy(奖杯)case.560two--your web site.561it's the first thing a client's gonnalook at,562and it's hard to navigate. there'sno site map.563it just wasn't built for people whogrow up without computers.564there. and third...565i don't have a third.566yeah, so that's... it.567okay.568you're in.569- seriously?- yeah.570take the office across the hall.i gotta run.571well, all right!572okay, obviously, i'm gonna clean that up.573here it is in black and white. it's your kid.574what? why aren't you smiling? 575it's not enough.576what do you want, a father's day card?577you knew the one thing that i demanded was fidelity(忠实), 578and you still went out and screwed around behind my back. 579you knew the one thing i didn't want was a child,580and you still tricked me into getting pregnant.581it's not the same thing.582damn straight. what you did was worse.583we're not very nice people, are we?584no, we're not.585oh, when we got married,586i thought we were gonna be so happy.587me too.588look on the bright side. at least we're still rich.589thank god for that.590 so it occurred to me...591that i was really rude at themorgue(太平间,停尸房).592when you told me about zach, iwas so busy freaking( (使)强烈反应)out,593i never actually congratulatedyou.594congratulated me?595yeah, i know how much you'vealways wanted a child,596and now you have one.597thanks.598obviously, um, it was quite ashock,599but it's good news any way youslice it.600what's wrong?601so naturally you'll be wanting to...602have a relationship with him, andthat takes time,603- a lot of time.- susan--604and out of all themixed-upteenagers in the world,605zach is just the one kid that i can'tbe around.606i can't have Julie around him.607so, um, what i'm trying to say is...608we can't move in together.609but i am so happy for you.610really, you have a child, and thatis good for you.611isn't there any way--612no. no, i...61300:34:35,750 --> 00:34:37,950so sorry.614i'll--i'll, um,615i'll see you around.616today we've come together tocelebrate the life617of dr. rex van de kamp...618what is he wearing?619what?620i left him an hour ago,621and he was wearing ralph lauren.622but it's what rex would havewanted.623he loved that prep school.624...but whichever coathe waswearing,625rex always brought an irresistible(无法抗拒的)enthusiasm626And a single-mindeddetermination to...627so as we mourn the passing ofrex van de kamp,628we give thanks to god,629for we do not grieve as those whohave no hope630but as those who place their trustin god.631wait!632do not close that coffin.633give me your tie.634what?635give me your tie.636give it to her! give it to her.637you look magnificent.638so it looks like mary alice killedzach's birth mother639in order to keep her from takingzach away.。