高三书面表达讲评5正反观点类作文之LivingonCampusorOff

2011届高三书面表达讲评5

正反观点类作文之Living on Campus or Off?

一、常见问题

1.结构混乱。尽管Writing Help中对正反观点类的作文的结构已经做了详细的规定，包括要分几段，每段的内容是

什么。但不知道为什么，仍然有许多喜欢玩“躲猫猫”同学完全抛弃正宗的结构，或者另起炉灶，长篇大论，或者东一句，西一句地闲扯，看似要点齐全，其实完全不知所云。这种考验评卷人的智商的作文注定只能考验低分的极限！切记：无论什么体裁的文章，一定要先分好段，拟好清晰的结构再动笔写！

2.观点模糊。部分同学在最后一段表达自己观点的时候模棱两可，比如：In my opinion, living on campus has both

advantages and disadvantages. 还有的说：It’s really hard for me to decide whether to live on campus or not. 等等。这种骑墙的观点貌似客观，其实说了等于没说，不符合出题人的要求。切记：在书面表达和面试中的口头表达中，表达自己观点一定要明确，不可吃着碗里的望着锅里的！

3.几个常见的语言错误：

a.Wrong: There are 70% of students approve of living on campus. （不规范的说法，大多数中学老师无法接受）

Right: There are 70% of the students approving / who approve of living on campus.

Right: 70% students approve of living on campus. （简约不简单）

b.Not only…but also…

Wrong: Not only the quieter, less social environment at home may be more beneficial for studying as a busy social life on campus may be a distraction, but also the supportive environment at home my help you concentrate and study harder. (这个很强，我都不会改了)

Right: Living on campus not only saves a lot of time but also makes it possible for us to form study groups.

Right: Not only does living on campus save a lot of time, but also it helps students concentrate and study harder.

(1.not only与but also后面所连接的词的词性必须对等。2 not only放在句首，后接句子时要用倒装结构。).

C. on one hand…on the other hand….

Wrong：On one hand, you make much use of university facilities when you live on campus. On the other hand, living on campus makes it possible for us to form study groups. (中文可以，不代表英文也可以！)

Right：For one thing,you make much use of university facilities when you live on campus. For another,living on campus makes it possible for us to form study groups.

Right：On the one hand I enjoy the conveniences of the city. On the other hand, I really appreciate the quiet life in the countryside. （诸君看看你们的两只手，方向是不是相反的。）

d.Wrong: Those who insist on the idea that living on campus makes it possible to form study groups. （貌似完整的句

子，其实缺谓语！四肢不全是一个常见病）

Right: Those who insist on living on campus believe that it makes it possible to form study groups.

(Tips:那些你没有绝对把握的词汇和句型，考试时请高抬贵手，放他们一马，然后代之以你比较熟悉的用法；平时写作时，则要先求教牛津和朗文两位仁兄然后再用之于你的大作！)

living on develop a degree of interpersonal skills which might help them fit in society better in the near future. They also argue that living on campus ensures

roommates.

2. When going to the colleges, many students choose to live on campus while some others prefer to live at home. In my

highly competitive society in the near future.